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That was some Jonathan Swift level satire there. Fucking brilliant. Neckbeard quibble: the reporter is Michael Falk. Robert Falk is his brother.
Fixed!
"Only soldiers can kill without getting in trouble" This is one of the best things I've seen from the Onion, and that says a lot.
5 stars for the end.
... did not expect that.
Michael is an excellent reporter!
Genuine belly laughter. Bravo.
That is fucking inspired!
Goddamn I love The ONN.
This is how I picture Gommorrah.
For you
Ryan would be much happier dead.
I am interested in this man's views, and I would like to subscribe to his newsletter.
This guy is solid gold
How did I miss this?
My words fail me.