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Desc:All the Batmans in the theater unable to help
Category:News & Politics, Horror
Tags:batman, colorado, Dark Knight Rises, lone gunman, movie premier
Submitted:schwaeg87
Date:07/20/12
Views:2234
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Comment count is 52
Cena_mark
That's cause those Batmen were wearing hockey pads.
fedex
guy was dressed up as the Joker apparently

themilkshark
I'd totally understand it if a witness admitted this made the movie better

IrishWhiskey
Hopefully comments will wait until the bodies are cold before making Batman jokes. Not on YouTube I know, but here at least.

The media remains awful at covering this stuff. The Charlie Brooker video is the first thing that comes to mind when these things happen.

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=56532

The ABC anchor sort of barely spits out "and of course thoughts with the victims" before spending all the rest of his time speculating wildly about terrorist connections, further attacks, and all the many ways that people should feel unsafe in ordinary public places.

The media's first instinct is to turn it into a dark action movie with a villain that people can root against, where the fear will keep people on the edge of their seats desperately listening to know whether they are in danger, and what rights they need to give up to feel safe again.
Xenocide
An MSNBC "expert" started the day by speculating that the shooter was probably "a dark, Trekkie-like person."

GOP congressman Louie Gohmert blamed the shooting on the lack of prayer in public schools, then went on to ask why more people in the theater didn't have guns.

The Dark Knight Rises is preceded by a trailer for an Untouchables ripoff with the incredibly snappy title of Gangster Squad. The highlight of the trailer is a sequence where a bunch of thugs burst into a packed movie theater and begin firing at random. The trailer has been pulled.

The NRA's Twitter account Tweeted the following this morning: "Happy Friday, shooters! Any plans for the weekend?"


All of these things are happening in our real world. The plot to Dark Knight Rises is feeling a lot less outlandish this morning.

chairsforcheap
yeah what the fuck is up with the description... maybe you should change it to not be a complete cunt

schwaeg87
the description is accurate

IrishWhiskey
Being accurate and being a cunt aren't mutually exclusive.

chairsforcheap
withdrawn, the alcohol and sadness made me lash out

IrishWhiskey
Sidenote about Gohmert's insanity:

The shooter went to a Westview High School, which is currently facing a lawsuit for their having posted blatantly religious banners in classrooms telling kids that America is a Christian nation. So even though Gohmert should have been able to guess the kid went to a secular school, he still got it wrong.

Like when people immediately assumed that the Asian technology student at Virginia Tech was influenced by videogames, only to have the roommate inform them that he actually didn't play games and preferred plays and wrestling.

When terrible acts like this happen, it's common for terrorist groups to take responsibility in the hopes of getting attention and pushing their agenda. Gohmert's just another terrorist, who chose to follow his terrorist idea of a terrorist god to excuse himself of personal responsibility for his own actions and morals, while telling people that more of their children and loved ones will die if he doesn't get what he wants.

chairsforcheap
ok, more to the point. RUH ROH, more alcohol

The first reaction of some CUNT from texas was "why werent there more guns to quell the action?" and your cute little reference to the murdered victims as "batmans" being powerless sort of adds to the notion, no? Because if they were batmans, they should have been able to defend themselves, right? Instead of dying helplessly in theater seats. Fuck you. Withdrawal withdrawn. Give me another shot of the alcohol, good man. (not you)

Jericho
it's a joke on the website poetv.com

themilkshark
Had there been more guns, more people probably would have died. Also would the situation somehow be better if the guy who shot everyone was shot dead himself? I'd like to see him face prison rather than go out in a blaze of terrorist glory.

memedumpster
No one in the theater was less powerful than anyone else who would dress in a rubber suit and throw Batarangs at people dressed in clown mankeup. If Batman had been there for real he'd be dead, because no such person would survive in a real world situation like that. I bet one in a hundred people going into the theater knew that already. Everyone leaving did. Batman is fucking useless to the real world, which is why he's fun and endearing, because the real world is not. What could have saved those people is a country that doesn't suck out loud raising kids who aren't psychotic.

Cena_mark
I've made a lot of pro gun arguments in the past, but more guns wouldn't have helped here. The shooter had the element of surprise, tear gas, and darkness on his side. More guns would have just meant more stray fire.

spikestoyiu
A lot of Internet cowboys saddling up today, and they're all relatively certain that in a theater full of smoke and chaos, they would have definitely been able to take out the guy with the assault rifle and the body armor.
Hooker
The "I would have done better" response is always my favourite. It absolutely enrages me every time I hear it.

spikestoyiu
"It works on the Obama targets in my backyard!"

deadpan
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/07/the_aurora_theat er_shooting_what_do_we_know.php?ref=fpb

The suspect was dressed all in black,”. “He was wearing a ballistic helmet, a tactical ballistic vest, ballistic leggings, a throat protector and a groin protector and a gas mask, and black tactical gloves.”

This of course won't stop all the people saying that Mr. Concealed Carry would have been able to reach past his popcorn tub for his Walmart Glock and take this guy down no problem.

themilkshark
If only George Zimmerman were there to save everyone.

Jet Bin Fever
I await the NRA's response that had more of the theater goers been armed they could've shot the guy dead before he shot so many people. It's a common misdirect and I'm sure they're going to use it.
Blue
Yeah, that would have turned out well.

The ideal number of concealed carry heroes is 1. Hero number 2 sees a pile of gunshot victims and a guy standing over them with a handgun and a look of smug self-satisfaction.

Spaceman Africa
One of the people who died was a journalist who had escaped a shooting in Toronto earlier this year. Seeing their Twitter now feels odd.
schwaeg87
This made me think that she brought this on them in some sort of Final Destination sort of way. By escaping death in Toronto she killed those people in Colorado.

Gmork
Thank you for somehow making me laugh amid this godawful bile smoothie of a topic.

fedex
and thank YOU for "bile smoothie"

misterbuns
Their viral marketing campaign is really out of control.
memedumpster
No matter what comes of this, it will no doubt make the rest of the world hate America more.
Chocolate Jesus
Keep your chin up submitter.
Prickly Pete
There's too many good jokes to make about this, which is a real drag.
Gmork
Just go ahead and make them. Then when enough time has passed you'll be ahead of the "dead movie theater crowd joke" game!

themilkshark
Can't wait to see the movie, I hear it's to die for.
memedumpster
Stop it, I'm trying not to make a joke, dammit.

dairyqueenlatifah
The audience was falling out of their seats!

cognitivedissonance
A child's parents are shot at the screening of a Batman film. 30 years later, that child grows up to seek vengeance under the black mask of Zorro. And thus the cycle begins anew.
Xenocide
I shouldn't be offering phantom stars for this. Fuck you for being so funny.

heyitslozeau
Stolen from Maddox.

schwaeg87
you one starred the video because someone said something that was from Maddox's site? you know how the rating system works, right?

cognitivedissonance
Who or what is a Maddox?

Hooker
Also, what the fuck is it about Colorado? They seem to have the most murders, the most conspiracy theorists, and then most redneck people in America. Is it the altitude?
SolRo
i think the last two cause the first.

StanleyPain
The speed at which people are trying to politicize this is fucking disgusting.
Old_Zircon
Not surprising, though.

dairyqueenlatifah
Romney wasted no time using this for his campaign.

John Holmes Motherfucker
The fuck.
Old_Zircon
Who the hell takes a 6 year old to a modern Batman movie?
fedex
try three-month old

Xenocide
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.comicsalliance.com/media/2012/07/miller dkr.jpg
spikestoyiu
Is this canon?

... still terrible?
John Holmes Motherfucker
Watching a truly fucking horrible NBC special report. There's so little actual news to report, so we get an hour of tearful faces and conventional philosophy about how "you only go around once in this life." Turns out shooting sprees are pretty unpleasant.
lordyam
... so who needs a hug?...
lordyam
so in new orleans it rained like hell. we got flooded and closed for the day. good reason to see batman! i thought. kids and the goddamn internet sold me out. i went to the bar couldnt go home cause it was raining so bad. THAN i hear this. i work with a guy who gives the best hugs and he was wearing batman underwear that day as he showed the whole bar. giggled like a five yr old. made us feel better. point of story its not the heros get better so the villians get worse. its the villians are assholes and the heros find a way

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