Old video games were so proud of how little sense they made. They're not even trying to sell you on gameplay, they just want you to know how weird your player character is.
Wrong! You're an abusive Italian plumber that wants to teach his wife a lesson by murdering her beloved pet monkey in front of her! But he got out and is throwing barrels at you!
You've murdered the monkey and taught Pauline that there's nothing you can't or won't take away from her if she disappoints you. You've won, right?
Wrong! Now you're an Elf and all of your friends and loved ones have been magically turned against you and your only choice is to kill them. Everyone you've ever loved is dead by your own hands, you've won, right?