Jet Bin Fever - 2012-11-21
They didn't have to make up anything for this one.
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Gallez - 2012-11-21
"Social media."
(Thunderous applause.)
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Chancho - 2012-11-21
Pretty cool ad for Cheetos.
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Xenocide - 2012-11-21
I don't get it. Where are the jokes? This is just a guy speaking basic truths.
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Old_Zircon - 2012-11-22 I'm not going to name my old employer's parent company for my own protection but they are a major, international media corporation who own a lot of things you would all recognize and probably use regularly. I know for a fact that they lift a lot of their data from Last.fm and have pretty good evidence that they also lift a lot of stuff from Netflix.
They also run a website that aggregates unlicensed streams of TV and movies and exists entirely as a datamining operation to help them better market toward people who are illegally viewing and distributing their clients' products.
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Old_Zircon - 2012-11-22 Oh, and the product is completely irrelevant because it was developed for a different market when we were a small, independent company and then hamhandedly adapted to a market that simply doesn't need it when the old CEO decided to cash in and sell it a few years ago (with pretty much no transparency; one of the other top people described it to me as his attempt at a "Zuckerberg moment").
The first quarter that didn't meet their projections, all of the most experienced (i.e. most expensive, although by IT industry standards we were still making fry cook wages) senior employees at the lower level were laid off with 2 days notice and no compensation of any kind, only days after we were told that our positions were secure.
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badideasinaction - 2012-11-22 If it makes you feel any better, I was in a startup that got bought out, and the only people who got rich was the VC firm from siphoning money out of the company via their board members and then using it to dilute employee shares further.
Even when you win, you lose.
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boner - 2012-11-22 I will take a higher salary and/or a better dental plan over more stock options any day. Fuckers always dilute them to worthlessness.
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Old_Zircon - 2012-11-22 Fuck stock options, literally every publicly traded company I or anyone I know has worked for has been horrible, both in terms of their business practices and their treatment of workers. As far as I'm concerned, if stock in a company even exists it's best to avoid them as much as possible.
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memedumpster - 2012-11-21
They're going to get sued if they don't go back to satire.
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FABIO - 2012-11-21
Ironically, this could have been a regular satire piece full of creative ways to spell this out with jokes, but they couldn't be bothered with work and just blurted out the points.
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WHO WANTS DESSERT - 2012-11-22 I've never actually watched an Onion Talk all the way through, they're pretty mediocre
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Old_Zircon - 2012-11-22 I've never actually watched a Ted Talk all the way through, they're pretty mediocre
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