Also, the part after when the giant stone head descends from the sky and starts vomiting forth guns and ammunition. That part was my favorite.

The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Lapierre has spoken.

When Takashi Miike directs this scene his speech will be interrupted by severe gagging. He will then reach into his throat, eyes bulging and pull out a glock covered in mucus, barrel first.

These comments are some of the finest I've seen in a long while.

You guys made my day. Stars to all of you.

There was an armed sheriff on duty at Columbine

The armed cilivilian at the Giffords shooting almost shot the guy who jumped in the line of fire to save Giffords

There was an armed civilian at Clackamas Mall

And yes, there was a SWAT team at Virginia tech.

So this scenario you think is a good idea already exists and hasn't done anything.

In Topeka, we just had two officers killed with a bullet in the head at a Dillion's Store parking lot.

What I'm trying to say is that there really should have been more guns present because I'm a stupid fucking idiot.

Let's also not forget the Fort Hood shootings which took place on, you know, an ARMY BASE.

If you stop and think about it (the point at which every conservative talking point falls apart), you realize that it's BECAUSE everyone isn't carrying that these shootings don't inflict more casualties. The more an armed shooting man sticks out, the easier it is for everyone to run and for police to pick him out and take him down. It's why casualties usually run from half a dozen to 20 something rather than the 30+ you'd expect from an assault weapon being turned on unsuspecting civilians.

What if everyone had a gun? How in the fuck would you tell apart the original shooter and the "responsible" gun owners in all the chaos? Too many carrying types DREAM about the day they get to draw their gun and play hero; can you honestly say they wouldn't pop the wrong people in their enthusiasm and confusion? Deaths would go up and at least half would be from hero types.

I'm not even joking that starting a national PSA campaign to spread the stigma that gun owners have one inch dicks would be the simplest, cheapest, least intrusive and most effective solution to this whole mess. Instead of PETA posters, hot naked chicks need to start posing for these one inch dick ads.

Almost every right wing belief stems from machoism propping up insecurity and ignorance. Rob guns of their tough guy connection and you'll cut off a huge chunk of the irresponsible crazy at the knees.

I'm totally in favor of your campaign, FABIO. If, like me, you're ass at the Photoshop, all you need are three things:

1) Photo of an ugly dude with an assault rifle, such as:

http://adamgoodrich.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/redneck-sha ck-protected-by-assault-rifles-300x201.png

2) Photo of a chick making the "tiny" gesture, even Condie Rice will do:

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/d/d7/Condoleeza_ri ce_small_penis_gesture.jpg

3) A caption like "Overcompensating for something, sonny?"

FABIO's point on the complications of armed good guys without uniforms is the one I always make. Also, imagine how fast the police could evacuate a shooting area if 1 in 20 people they were evacuating were armed and potentially the shooter.

But yeah, target selection in a chaotic environment is hard for people wearing freaking uniforms, speaking over radio, and dialed into a plan of attack, if friendly-fire rates during wartime tell us anything. Now imagine the fun if nobody can tell friend from foe, let alone who the foe is to begin with.

The ad campaign idea isn't a bad one either.

Imagine how much fun it would be to be a new hire at a school with armed teachers. Or a substitute teacher.

"Hi, I'm Frank Smith, I'll be sitting in for Mr. WhAAAAAGGHHHHH!"

But had that guy ever played Mortal Kombat or seen Natural Born Killers?

But talking about guns is OFF THE TABLE!!

Also, isn't it interesting that when someone on the Right wants to invoke video games as some kind of source of violence in our culture, they NEVER mention jingoistic military porn like Call of Duty or Medal of Honor, or Arma, or Battlefield, despite those games pretty much outselling almost every other franchise?

Another two-decade-old cultural reference that should be blamed for school shootings? Nine Inch Nails' "Big Man with a Gun," 'cause Trent Reznor's scary music is evil, and could corrupt a new generation of children.

Also, Body Count's "Cop Killer," for that burst of nostalgia.

I'm amazed when they don't mention "Doom."

He can always just shoot the cancer out!

a lot of Americans genuinely believe that this is true

I mean how much complete fucking fantasy can one nation bear by its citizens

I seriously cannot believe all these gun advocates recently saying the solution to violent crime is armed citizen vigilantes ready and willing to shoot back.

Citizens resorting to vigilantism is not a solution to societal problems. It is a symptom of societal problems out of control.

Cue theme to Good Bad And Ugly

It wouldn't be that cool. Better to use "Yakkity Sax."

Murder rates in the well-armed Old West averaged around 65/100,000, essentially what Honduras & El Salvador face now. Murder capital New Orleans is about 44, and its 4.2 for the U.S. as a whole.

I would love to see some sort of troll where someone goes to the poorest minority neighborhood they can find and gives out free NRA memberships to as many young adults possible, then challenge gun advocates to provide them with rifles and marksmanship classes, like they'd normally do to a lucky boy scout troop or something.