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Category:General Station
Tags:vampire, the south, Crystals, vlad gang$ta
Submitted:The Mothership
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Comment count is 27
Can I kill a hampire by driving a bacon strip through its heart?

Or do we leave it in the sun until it's honeybaked?
Oscar Wildcat

Oscar Wildcat
I think she's trying to fit every WB television series into one character here...

Point of order: "Hampire" is copyright and TM of that "NuttyMadam" creature who reacts to Twilight trailers.

Jet Bin Fever
This is what happens when rednecks get into Vampire the Masquerade.
Vampires existing, but being like this, would be an awesome premise for a novel or something.
Like, she's 2000 years old and saw the fall of Rome, but she still just spends her time making stupid videos about eating crysthals on youtube.
Oscar Wildcat
She was playing lawn darts in her underwear at the Crucifixion.

I'm still mad that the Fallout 3 ending didn't give me any credit for stamping out this subculture once and for all.

The Mothership
I honestly can't tell if she is serious or is having a larf making fun of southern vampires who make videos about being vampires.
It took all my willpower to upvote your gloomcow.

I'm now glad I did.

Not to worry, Pillager. You can regain Willpower through resting, at a rate of one dot every four hours, or at the Storyteller's discretion, as a reward for good roleplaying.

EvilHomer, from the posts I've seen you make before, reading THAT one is more shocking to me than if you'd come out as a furry.

Yeah I too was thinking, "hey this chick is kinda funny". Then I clicked on the youtube link and saw a ton of other videos dressed in black.

John Holmes Motherfucker
Define "serious".

I've alluded to my years as a teenage PnP nerd before, surely?

I'm glad someone got the reference, though. Makes me feel less bad about making it. GUESS MY HUMANITY POOL IS TOO HIGH THESE DAYS, HUH?

I am now seriously disappointed that my user name isn't ImmortalWhiteTrash.
John Holmes Motherfucker
No way to bring this up that isn't disgusting but holy shit this girl's ass is HUGE!


about 24 seconds in. Don't judge me until you've seen it.

Without the fangs, she's super pretty. No doubt about it: she's funny, she's beautiful, she's a real heartbreaker.

Half her videos are about getting drunk; I hope she's doing okay. I'm glad I'm not her dad. Unless, of course, her mom looks like this.

(I'm never coming back here.)
Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Honestly, I concur. Maybe she lives in a really boring town where there ain't much else to do?

John Holmes Motherfucker
SHE DOES. It's a really boring town called CANADA.

Plus she's a Dog Fashion Disco fan! Any girl who wears fangs and sings DFD songs without me asking first is a keeper in my book.

Wow, you guys, based upon your standards let me introduce you to a wonderland of womanly utopia called "Kentucky." It is a paradise of drunken slurring brainless vagina all waiting for you to lie to it and tell it how pretty it is.

John Holmes Motherfucker
My grandmother was from Kentudky. I've seen the pictures. She was HAWT!

I don't know where disgusting comes into play. She's no Mal Malloy, but...

John Holmes Motherfucker
Don't know what you're trying to say, but thanks for making me google Mal Malloy.

Oscar Wildcat
Now hush yourself, Meme. When the moon is full, the BeerWolves always howl at the Hampires. It's a natural phenomena.

Also, I'm sorry, but she wears her makeup like a Juggalo.

John Holmes Motherfucker
Another natural phenomenon (PHENOMENA IS PLURAL, OSCAR) is the irresistible childish impulse to tear down a moment of small inconsequential kindness. For just a moment, it seemed that we'd actually said nice things about a girl on the internet, and got away with it.

John Holmes Motherfucker
It makes me sad that memedumpster is dead inside, but "Kentudky" is my new favorite typo, and that makes me smile.
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