|infinite zest |
Haha this brings back so many memories. Back like a million years ago I used to write for Sega-Otaku and they assigned me the task of reviewing the Japanese laugnage Shenmue because I didn't know any Japanese.
Why wasn't he wearing a sombrero and holding maracas?
|Sexy Duck Cop |
Shenmue is the single most overrated game of all time.
When it was first released it was not bad and it was a great showcase of what was possible with semi-non-linear games and the idea of making the environment a more crucial part of the game, but I don't think anyone is in denial about how awful it aged.
And, oh, the single most overrated game of all time would not even remotely be Shenmue. It would probably be more like the Halo series or Final Fantasy or something.
Shenmue was never highly rated in the first place. It was "hyped", I guess, but there was still way more follow-through than practically all the recent games that have been coming out.
Sexy Duck Cop
Shenmue really was terrible, even in 1999. I vividly remember my disappointment at the time, and the game has aged atrociously since then. It was initially billed as a proto-GTA3 open-world epic that promised Virtua Fighter quality combat in an immaculate recreation of suburban Japan in the '80's. What we got was hours of pacing up and down the same three blocks, talking to absurdly racist caricatures, and capping off the hours of uncomfortable small talk with exhilarating forklift puzzles.
Those forklifts. Those fucking fucking forklifts.
Sexy Duck Cop
At one point a real live human being, capable of rational thought and complex reasoning, actually said "Let's stop the kung-fu murder mystery so we can stack boxes in a warehouse."
Yeah, well, that's life.
Shenmue was fun in a B-movie sense, which isn't surprising, since it's based on a genre full of fun B-movies. I played it with a friend (we took turns controlling it); I don't think I would have enjoyed it nearly as much single-player.
The way he says amigo is hilarious. Aaaaahh MEE goh.
Why you keep talking to him if it creeps you out, Ryo? I never noticed this guy, probably because this so called "open adventure" game had like 99% of NPC telling you to fuck off every time you tried to talk to them.
|Chocolate Jesus |
Sexy Duck Cop
This marks the only time in human history Chocolate Jesus has been remotely satisfied.
I somehow enjoyed these games at the time.
|Killer Joe |
For a good stretch, I was the best Shenmue player in my state. There was a timed "beat up 50 guys" challenge, with results posted on the website you accessed though the game, and I rocked that shit. Never caught up to California, tho. Those kids must have been autistic or something.
Yes, I do like Mexico.
See you around.
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