This is the same as the older bullet infomercials where they don't bother seasoning anything and all the ingredients come from somewhere just off screen all measured out and prepped. I keep trying to tell my computer that this is bullshit, but I don't think it cares.

Aunt Martha and Granny Satan haven't spoken in years, not since the Deal-A-Meal incident of 1992. No matter the consistency of the turkey meatloaf, they cannot forgive, nor ever forget.

Fat guy wants some food! Stuff his face with nachos until his arteries explode!

I remember having the original magic bullet in the house when I was younger.

Not bad for smoothies and single-serving drinks, though anything else was kind of a crapshoot.

Just make a food pill if you can't be bothered to spend more than 30 seconds doing something.

That's not how you make pizza THAT'S NOT HOW YOU MAKE PIZZA

I've always wanted to invite people to dinner and do shit like this in front of them, just to see how long it takes for them to call me on it.

Oh Ralph, will you and your fat ever amount to anything? Sit down.

This is one of the most awkward infomercials I've ever seen. I can't get the Mr. Show parody out of my head.

Thanks to Bullet Express, we finally had a family get together that didn't almost immediately degenerate into a low-blood-sugar-fueled screaming match.

"You know who loved to help cook? Grandpa. I guess he'd still be here if you hadn't driven him to an early grave, you fucking hateful dyke!"

I'm pretty sure that if you cook raw tomatoes in the oven, they do not magically transmute into tomato sauce.

Fucking horrible. This isn't a joke? Wow. Unbelievable.

I've seen this a million times and enjoy that pizza making every time.

Oh my God! This is hilarious. I laughed out loud through the whole thing.

Less than two minutes in and I've already seen two of the most disgusting food type things I've seen in my life.