I had a friend back in middle school who sold avatars on ebay for Ultima Online.. wasn't much fun to hang out with because he'd just sit in the house chopping wood all day, but he had cable TV and his mom made awesome chinese food. I'd just sit there and smoke pot while he leveled up his characters and listen to Pavement. Surprise, he works at Valve.

I think you should just go one step further and pay them to play the game for you. Cut out the middleman, you know.

Essentially paying for friends

So... he's paying for someone to steal his kills. Alrighty.

Money well spent

I would hire someone to play videogames for me. Especially since every new game has so many collectibles that you pretty much have to spend the equivalent of one or two work days on trash pickup duty because otherwise the game world will be covered in garish looking garbage.

Seriously, why the fuck do they do this? Is there some asshole that actually likes this? It's not an easter egg hunt minigame anymore. They aren't even hidden anymore they're literally everywhere you look until you clean them up. It's motherfucking 1,537 card pickup. That's not a game, it's fucking work.

I would be very grateful for an option to turn off collectibles, or at least the fucking nuisance collectibles. Shit, I always thought this was about selling game guides. Now I think they just want to intentionally shit on their product.

I would do this on Halo 3, for free, because I wanted to win games. Stuff like reminding my teammates when power weapons and vehicles would respawn, calling out where the enemy was, keeping people off our snipers, and shooting at things other people were shooting at. Occasionally I'd even say things like how you could use the Brute Shot to get on top of that box or throw sticky grenades through the man lifts.

Who knew I could have monetized that. It's crazy that unemployment is rampant and robots are replacing human labor and then this and stuff like Game Goon is launching and pretty soon we're all going to the real life AND virtual butlers for rich people.

So this is run by the North Korean government, right?