I feel so bad he felt all that popup-anguish: dude, even if you clicked that link you ain't gonna see shit. Christians don't know what GIS is for.

+one million stars for killing the messenger.

She looks a little old for a porn ad.

I want to pin Kirk Cameron down and jerk a big heathen load right in his face now; not even as a sex thing, but simply as an act of spite for his being such a horrible shit golem.

Why can't I, through all the tears, stop masturbating to Fireproof?

I really wanted Geto Boys to start playing at the end there.

Nice CRT monitor.

"Why is this so hard?"

Because you're thinking about porn, you idiot.

What they don't show is how 15 minutes later he makes a frantic drive to Best Buy to get a new monitor, all so he can spend 2 hours looking for that exact same popup to click on it, then just gets a virus that erases his hard drive.

God why did you give us dicks whyyy

There's like one or two scenes in this movie where he shares this incredibly bland kiss with his wife and apparently they had to bring Cameron's real wife to stand in for the actress because of what a horrible hellish thing it would be to share a lame, fake kiss with a stranger.

Notice that he's looking up boats before the popup appears. He is constantly looking at boats on the Internet. Internet boats _is_ his porn surrogate in the movie. His marriage falls apart (no, seriously) because he's always looking up boats.

My favourite part of the movie is when he's getting advice from his dad on marriage, and his dad says, "I always loved your mother, even when she didn't deserve it." It's not a load-bearing line. It's just put in there as part of the natural progression of the dialogue; of course someone would say that. To my ears, as a lifelong atheist and the child of two atheists, whose only reason to stay married is love of one another, it would be baffling to hear my dad say that. I would get really angry with him if he did, but he never would.

I'm sometimes envious of Christians' sense of community and purpose, but if it meant tying yourself to such crushing customs like spending the rest of your life with someone you found out too late that you cannot stand or only rubbing one out to pictures of boats, I can do without the benefits.

I'm afraid that the science backs him up. It's all here, in "Onania; or, the Heinous SIN of Self-Pollution, and All its Frightful Confequences, in both SEXES, Confider’d. With Spiritual and Phyfical Advice to Thofe, who have already injur’d themfelves by this abominable Practice. And feafonable Admonition to the Youth of the Nation, (of both SEXES) and thofe whofe Tuition they are under, whether Parents, Guardians, Mafters, or Miftreffes."

http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2013/09/16/59034

The porn is the that beige box on your floor, bud. You just wasted a sweet 17" CRT.

Is his name actually Caleb?

It is a nice CRT with a flat screen, but the story seems so typical. It would be pretty hard to break the screen with a bat, and a shock to the arms too, so I recommend something that's actually hard, like a sledge.

I have to give stars thoughj for something that looks like an actual computer screen, like XP pretty much, and that kind of popup would happen in IE too.

I always laugh at the fake looking computer screens in movies and TV, an OS like nothing you'd ever see, or instant messengers that take up half the screen with messages in 36 point type.

Boomer

Oh, my son. Can't you see that God has already given you a mighty weapon to aid you in your fight against the demons of porn popups: AdBlock.

"Hey honey, instead of smashing our monitor maybe you could have just not jerked off?"