|John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-12-23 |
Wow. This is a thing?
I guess so. I googled "Warrior Cats" and before I was done typing "warrior", "Warrior Cats" was the second pull-down option. In your face, Alexander the Not-So-Great.
Jet Bin Fever
Take that Genghis Khan! And yeah, two of my suggested googles were warrior cats related. Fuck our dumb race.
It's an extremely popular book series aimed at middle-school-aged boys. The concept is: there are these tribes of cute kitty cats who live in the woods and talk and murder each other. It's very angsty and very stupid.
On an earlier video, I posted an excerpt from one of Common Sense Media's reviews. I'll reprint it here for the benefit of anyone who's new to this whole Warrior Cats thing.
"Pretty much every fight ends with every character involved bleeding from at least one gash, and on a few occasions cats have had their throats slit or torn open and bleed to death. And those are some of the average moments. The series goes on to feature cats having their eyes clawed out, getting run over by cars, being crippled, bleeding to death while giving birth, getting mauled by dogs, being ripped open and left to bleed to death nine times, being slaughtered by an Ax Crazy mountain lion, impaling a mountain lion with a stalactite, falling off cliffs and breaking their necks, getting crushed by trees, having their tails removed, having a wooden stake driven into their throat, drowning in a series of dark tunnels which they are forced to wander for all eternity, bleeding heavily from gashes in their stomachs, being tortured by extremely bloody nightmares, slowly bleeding to death after being severely wounded by a beaver's teeth, hearing another cat screaming in agony as his stomach is ripped open offscreen, etc."
So you're saying someone read "Watership Down" and wanted more psychotic animals tearing each other to bits.
Except for Watership Down being a pretty brilliant, enduring piece of literature aimed squarely at adults, yeah.
From what I've gathered it's more like fanfiction of the Watership Down movie written by a 15 year old who huffs paint thinner.
Also, I wish Evilhomer would go back to posting stuff like this. What happened, EH? Did you give your account away to someone else sometime in 2015?
|infinite zest - 2013-12-23 |
Bluestar Died when she jumped in the gorge and drowned mostly
|baleen - 2013-12-23 |
I jus wanna say I'm glad she said to me at the start of this cuz I kinda disagree with her but whatever everyone has a opinion.
|eatenmyeyes - 2013-12-23 |
You know, after looking at the preview image, I think I've seen enough.
I just voted it up by its name alone.. I was hoping it was real cats doing cosplay, like that old "Action Cats" SNL sketch. But alas..
|SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-12-23 |
Please spay or neuter your Warrior Cat.
|memedumpster - 2013-12-24 |
Firestar died by being hit by a car, your mom and I lied to you because you're kind of stunted and we knew you couldn't handle it.
Silverstream was actually your sister who was shot in a robbery at the bank where she worked, we just told you she was a cat so you'd understand she was dead.
Spottedleaf was your blanket we threw out, again, you just didn't get it until we said it was a dead cat.
Flametail is a goldfish who is still alive, please just acknowledge that for daddy. Please.
Hollyleaf is what you started calling mom, and your therapist is starting to hint at some drastic measures.
Bluestar was an actual cat, the one you left in the pool as a kitten.
Cinderpelt, or Officer Monroe as we know her, threatened to arrest us for child neglect the next time you dial 911 screaming about her husband.
Yellowfang was your granpa who died of lung cancer, this was last month, you were at the funeral. Why wont you look at us?
We don't know who you mean by Mosskit, and this really has us and your therapist worried. We're kind of scared of finding out.
Stonefur is what you call the head nurse at Ten Broeck, and she is still alive and wants to help you. Oh god you wont even wave goodbye to us.
Maybe next week, honey, your mom and I love you.
|Vaidency - 2013-12-24 |
Well, this is ok, but where's the list of the 10 most hilarious warrior cat deaths?
It's the same list but with Yakkity Sax playing in the background.
|Syd Midnight - 2013-12-24 |
For a moment I thought they might be for actual warrior cats, like Able Seacat Simon, or Mr Whiskers who singlehandedly exterminated an entire species of songbird
|BHWW - 2013-12-24 |
And as for Tenclaw, he never came home from Vietnam.
WHEN THE NIGHT
|Caminante Nocturno - 2013-12-24 |
Spottedleaf: Died from having a stupid name.
|Koda Maja - 2013-12-24 |
Stormpaw sniffing glue, he was 12 years old
Fell from the roof on East Two-nine
Flametail was 11 when she pulled the plug
On 26 reds and a bottle of wine
Bluestar got leukemia, 14 years old
He looked like 65 when he died
He was a friend of mine
Sometimes it makes me sad, though... Bluestar being gone. I have to remind myself that some Warrior Cats aren't meant for this world. Their whiskers are just too bright. And when they go away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to keep them here DOES rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my Warrior Cat.
|Gmork - 2013-12-24 |
This behavior is not okay.
Which Warrior Cat did you miss the most?
|themilkshark - 2013-12-25 |
GRR! MEAN KITTY! GONNA GETCHA! MEOW!
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