Pure natural selection. The Enterprise only does 5 year missions because that's how long it takes for the crew to plummet beneath operational levels. Most who survive to reach the ranks of Lt. Commander, Commander, and Captain end up going on to die as Commodores and Admirals.

They are explorers first, and who doesn't want to make first contact? You gonna let a redshirt snuggle up to those green titties?

If you aim to command a starship, then fighting, fucking, or Nazi Cosplaying, you best be willing to get your hands dirty. Also: ignore Scotty at your own peril.

Yes, when you *aim* to command a starship. i.e. when you're still a junior officer, fighting in the trenches alongside your men. THEN it's helpful to get your nose dirty, because this will make it easier to earn respect with the enlisted ranks later on in your career, and will also score points with the chain of command.

But when you're Captain, you've made it. You don't have to impress people on away missions, because that's no longer your job - your job is to command an entire ship. You spend your days doing paperwork, delegating responsibility to capable junior officers, playing politics with the Admirality, and making command decisions, like deciding what kind of alien girl your crew should *bring to you* this week.

You've never actually seen this show, have you? Your Christian Federation fanfic is fun, but totally not canon. This is how it would go...

Stardate 1341.5, Captain EvilHomer, USS Enterprise, beams six junior officers down to Margaritaville VII on a routine female health check. Opts to stay onboad with command staff to watch the lights blink.

Stardate 1341.6, the Enterprise explodes in orbit, loss of all hands, Starfleet knows not why.

Stardate 1557.1, USS Exeter arrives at Margaritaville VII to find all life on planet gone, starship debris in orbit in a thin belt of durnium and antimatter decay. Case is declared "failure of command" and closed.

OK. That's a good point, Homer. You can certainly outsource the fighting part, especially the dying part, to the Redshirts. The other two are pretty essential hands-on practices for command. I mean, how's the rest of the crew going to take Kirk seriously if he outsources all his fucking to Bones? And don't those General guys take their cosplay seriously? Can't be wearing dungarees and a wife beater whilst your second is resplendent in full regalia. On this point Kirk is often weak, although he occasionally rocks the complete federation dress ensemble for certain episodes.

Oscar - that's why the Redshirts are under orders to bring the alien girls back onboard. Think of them like roadies for Motley Crue - Nikki Sixx can't very well take the time to meet and evaluate ALL the young ladies who wish to make his acquaintance. That's why he's got roadie bouncers, scouting the crowd for talent. And as for Nazi Cosplay, isn't that something you can do just as easily back on the ship?

Meme - come on, you know me. If I were in charge of that mission, I'd fake the explosion, then smuggle the Enterprise out to Ferengi space, whereupon I'd sell her for sweet sweet Latinum, which I would then use to fund Maquis radicals as well as my own debauched, Snowdenesque lifestyle. And the Federation was never Christian - they're a Marxist dystopia controlled by a runaway military-industrial complex, starkly divided between the Party Haves (Starfleet officers and the Federation elites) and the non-Party proletariat Have Nots (enlisted ranks and everyone else).

All my stars for this thread, you guys

I didn't really understand the message they were trying to get across in this episode. At first it seemed like the message was "The Nazis were pretty cool! The only problem with them was that they tried to kill the Jews." Then right at the end the message seemed to shift to "Absolute power corrupts absolutely!" Except for in the Federation, of course; they can have an enlightened autocracy because Social Evolution or something. And then McCoy got pissed off because Spock implied that Napoleon was an asshole?