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Comment count is 53
Old_Zircon - 2014-03-14


ashtar. - 2014-03-14

They should force him to change his name as well. He's practically demanding to be called Gayson. You gonna cry, Gayson?

gravelstudios - 2014-03-14

I love my name, and wouldn't change it for the world, but Peter is the worst bully-bait name EVER.

CornOnTheCabre - 2014-03-14

AJ is pretty bad too, I've come to find. I ran the cycle of "AGay," "GayJ," and finally just "GayGay," for the majority of middle school.

SolRo - 2014-03-14

Pretty sure his name is Bruce and Grayson is his last name. so, BJ

And there is no safe name in middle school.

Gmork - 2014-03-14

This poor kid from canada named AJ got the "GayJay" treatment at my middle/high school. Poor guy, I always feel bad because I would have been friends with him (we were both dorks) but I was too self-aware of being a dork and knew when to hide it and when to pretend i was a dumb jock. I kinda belonged to all the different groups, but my homegroup was the nerds.

And because I was being a stupid kid, I didnt want to stick up for him because it might make me an outcast. If I had it to do over, I'd have kicked his tormentors' asses, but I wasn't a violent kid, despite being a foot taller than everyone.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-15

If I ever met a kid named AJ, I'd probably call him "Background Pony".

Shoebox Joe - 2014-03-17

So this is what it sounds like when doves cry, Gmork.

I've lived that life longer than I should. It probably would've been more verbose if it weren't for the fact that I enrolled in after a year when a school shooting occurred.

PS: I kind of want to rag you about the positive side of guns, but I'm just not feeling up to it.

zurf - 2014-03-14

"trigger" is the new buzzword for 2014... anything that causes anything else is a "trigger"

Cena_mark - 2014-03-14

I didn't notice that, but you're right. Its a buzz word in our culture of victim blaming.

spikestoyiu - 2014-03-14


Bort - 2014-03-14

"New Bruce, are you a poofter?"

oddeye - 2014-03-14

Nnnooo ppppooooofffttteerrrss!!!

Hooker - 2014-03-14

I imagine the teachers and administrators looked at the various decisions they could have made made the calculated, cowardly choice that confronting a bully was harder than confronting the bullied. Well fucking done again, North Carolina!

SolRo - 2014-03-14

I'll put on there being a sports affiliation and/or car dealership owned by parents of kids getting in trouble.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

Yeah, this is horse crap. I'm glad the mom and her kid are sticking it to the school, even if the way they're doing it is a little self-serving and sensationalist. That kid looks ready to rock his backpack like a champ, and damn the torpedoes; the school officials could really learn something from him!

I just hope the school doesn't stifle free expression by forcing the parasprites to be _verbally_ nice to young master Grayson. Punching him and kicking him are, obviously, completely unacceptable, but there's always the danger in situations like this that "anti-bullying" will become a convenient excuse for draconian punitive measures and thoughtpolicing, which is as ethically wrong as it is fruitless and doomed to failure.

Cena_mark - 2014-03-14

I love how mature he is about it. He speaks about the bullying in a rather matter-of-fact tone and pretty much lays out how immature the parasprites are.

On another note, why do we call trolls and bullies "parasprites". They were just mindless eating/reproducing machines. Why don't we call them diamond dogs instead?

Hooker - 2014-03-14

The middle ground between those two is called "teaching."

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

Because Diamond Dogs are awesome, that's why. We can't give bullies the name of a cool enemy.

Gmork - 2014-03-14

As much as I dislike bronies, HE IS OF THE APPROPRIATE AGE TO WATCH THE SHOW, so good for him for rocking his backpack without fear!

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

He's a little young, but seeing as the show is appropriate for all ages, I guess you're right, Gmork.

Cena_mark - 2014-03-14

Gmork, you're saying he is of the right age and you're not saying anything about him being the wrong sex for the show. But if you accept that there is nothing wrong with guys liking cartoons such as Adventure Time or Regular Show, then by your logic there is nothing wrong with being an adult male fan of MLP:FIM.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

He's got you there, G.

Cena_mark - 2014-03-14

Also I never thought the Diamond Dogs were awesome. They were a bunch of dorks who got thwarted by Rarity of all Ponies.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

The Diamond Dogs are dogs. Dogs = automatically cool. And Rarity is one tough bitch, if you stopped liking things merely because they were thwarted by Rarity, there'd be hardly anything left to admire.

She thwarted Applejack in Look Before You Sleep. Just sayin'.

Oscar Wildcat - 2014-03-14

OK, so this Diamond Dogs thing...

As they pulled you out of the oxygen tent
You asked for the latest party
With your silicone hump and your ten inch stump
Dressed like a priest you was, Tod Browning's freak you was
Crawling down the alley on your hands and knee
I'm sure you're not protected, for it's plain to see
The diamond dogs are poachers and they hide behind trees
Hunt you to the ground they will, mannequins with kill appeal

Will they come...I'll keep a friend serene
Will they come...Oh baby, come unto me
Will they come...Well, she's come, been and gone

Come out of the garden, baby
You'll catch your death in the fog
Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs
Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs

The Halloween Jack is a real cool cat
And he lives on top of Manhattan Chase
The elevator's broke, so he slides down a rope
Onto the street below, oh Tarzie, go man go
Meet his little hussy with his ghost town approach
Her face is sans feature, but she wears a Dali brooch
Sweetly reminiscent, something mother used to bake
Wrecked up and paralyzed, Diamond Dogs are sableized

In the year of the scavenger, the season of the bitch
Sashay on the boardwalk, scurry to the ditch
Just another future song, lonely little kitsch
There's gonna be sorrow try and wake up tomorrow

Call them the Diamond Dogs

Keep cool, diamond dogs rule OK

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

In fact, I think the only pony she _couldn't_ thwart was Rainbow Dash, and even then, Rarity very nearly beat the Dashster at least once (granted, Rarity was kinda cheating, what with her Twilight Sparkle wings and all, but still. Even being able to compete with Rainbow Dash on her level is a pretty big accomplishment; every other pony has to cheat much harder than that if they want to run with the D)

Cena_mark - 2014-03-14

You're crazy. She didn't "thwart" Applejack. She used her magic to re-direct a few pillows, but Applejack ultimately won. Also she was the first to apologize and showed that she's the bigger pony. Applejack has bested timberwolves and a chimera. No prissy fashion pony can best her.

Gmork - 2014-03-14

I'm sorry, did you just compare my little pony to adventure time?

Your argument is invalid on that basis alone.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

She was the first to apologize because she _lost_. Rarity showed that *she* was the bigger pony by apologizing too, and not rubbing Applejack's nose in the fact that she'd been thwarted by Rarity.

The Timberwolves would have eaten Applejack for lunch if it weren't for Spike. Spike is Rarity's bitch, so logically, if Rarity > Spike and Spike > Applejack, then Rarity > Applejack. QED. And the Chimera? She may have LOOKED fierce, but Applebloom was kicking her ass long before AJ showed up. How dangerous can a monster really be if an unprepared blank flank filly can solo it?

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

MLP is actually a lot better than Adventure Time, not to mention more grown-up, but regardless, Cena's point stands. You can't say that people aren't allowed to watch shows that are out of their age range, and then turn around and watch a show that's out of your age range. At least not without first admitting that you're just as horrible as the folks you're trying to rag on.

You know he's right, Gmork. Why not just admit it, instead of making yourself look stupid and hypocritical?

Cena_mark - 2014-03-14

Gmork, they are both quality cartoons. MLP is better, but I don't hold that against Adventure Time. I'm just saying if you don't think there's anything wrong with an 8 year old boy watching MLP then there's nothing wrong with men watching it. You watch cartoons too. You are one of us.

Applejack killed the original 3 and then killed them again. It was only after she got her hoof stuck that she needed Spike's help, but she didn't even want his help. She told him to run and is just that noble. Even Twilight left Spike them die.
AB only avoided the chimera for a little bit. She needed AJ in the end.
Not only is AJ tougher than Rarity, but she proved that she can be more fabulous than Rarity. Applejewel > Rarity.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

I KNEW YOU WERE AN APPLEJEWEL FAN! Muahahaha! No taking it back now!

Obviously, she didn't *kill* the Timberwolves, since they kept regenerating. And I don't know if you noticed this or not, but all AJ did was dodge the Chimera, too. AJ knew exactly what the monster was and came prepped with all kinds of high-level gear, and yet AB had already hit on the optimal strategy: kite the fucker until it aggros itself into an environmental trap. AJ was just cleanup. She also wasted that chair.

Gmork - 2014-03-14

Adventure time isn't out of my age range, though, any more than MLP is out of yours. MLP is not a more grown-up show, it just contains a lot of soap opera type exchanges between established (and stereotypical, one-dimensional) characters. Adventure time goes places MLP can't, and won't, because MLP is too busy pandering to each pony's respective fans on alternating episodes.

Equestria girls? I mean, seriously? You might as well be watching a Bratz cartoon. MLP has pendleton-ward-ish dialogue and quirkyness but none of the darkness or substance of adventure time. What morality plays are at work in MLP? Someone stealing their friend's sugardrops and feeling bad about it? Adventure time has darker, more grown up themes. MLP is a feel-good show about ponies learning social lessons. The danger is all cutesy and not at all disturbing.

Find me a clip that could be considered disturbing in its own right, visually, without a whole paragraph of petty social and incidental anecdotes about the ponies' differing personalities. Can you do that? I'm not trying to attack MLP, i'm genuinely just intrigued that you think you can assert MLP is a more "grown-up" show without relying on the fact it's a social drama and that's the only source of semi-relevant adult themes.

Who dies? Does anyone get enslaved for eternity? Anyone get sacrificed? Eaten alive?

Does MLP even have ANYTHING that can compete with the utterly not-for-kids trauma that lemongrab represents?

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

"Who dies? Does anyone get enslaved for eternity? Anyone get sacrificed? Eaten alive? "

See, there's your problem, right there. Now please don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to make fun of you or bully you or anything, but Gmork, you're still stuck in a teenage boy's vision of what being grown-up actually means.

"Grown-up", to you, means getting a TV-14 rating by the FCC. To you, it's not about sophistication or drama or character or anything like that. It's about how many swears go ubleeped and how many characters get killed off.

But I say you're wrong. That's not grown up, that's being a teenager. Now, there is nothing terribly WRONG with being a perpetual teenager! Sure, we all like a bit of angst and horror-movie weirdness now and then. But it takes a real grownup to sit down and appreciate something nuanced and emotional, something that doesn't need to play on our crude, rebellious, pseudo-anti-social impulses in order to keep us watching.

MLP to Adventure Time is like The King's Speech to Friday the 13th, The Taming of the Shrew to Transformers 3, Rashamon to The Hangover, Spice and Wolf to Highschool of the Dead. I see what your problem is now; it's not that My Little Pony is too young for you, it's that YOU are too young for My Little Pony.

Nominal - 2014-03-14

Did I finally agree with gmork on something?

It's an overused term, but the pony show is for manbabies. It might be great at the goals it sets (teaching little kids little kid social lessons in a manner easily grasped by little kids), but claiming that there's nothing off about a childless adult being a fan is like saying there's nothing off about an adult who spends all his time reading basic arithmetic picture pop up books. If you're developmentally challenged and trying to catch up, then good on you but you're still a mess.

ashtar. - 2014-03-14

shut up shut up shut up shut up

Cena_mark - 2014-03-14

For starters the vast majority of bronies agree that Equestria Girls sucked. That was just a horrible spinoff bit pushed by Hasbro to sell Bratz style dolls.
The Crystal Ponies were enslaved by King Sombra, and King Sombra sorta died.
Obviously Adventure Time has more freedom to get darker because its got a PG rating. At the same time its just a place where Invader Zim fans have run off to get their OMG SO RANDOM fix.
Here's some darker MLP clips.




And then of course there's the clip that inspired Cupcakes.


Evil Homer, I never said I wasn't an Applejewel fan. What's wrong with Applejewel?

Nominal, I'm not watching it to learn lessons or to "catch up". I just find it very entertaining. I love cartoons and always will. This is just one of the best ones around.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

(but if you REALLY want some dumb grimdark stuff to soothe your inner child, here ya go)


Don't even get me started on the "eaten alive" thing.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

Nothing's wrong with Applejewel, Cena. She's a wannabe Rarity, and I'm glad we both agree that's cool.

And again, not trying to badmouth Adventure Time, but Invader Zim was so much better. If you're looking for a kids show with some 3dginess, your best choice is Invad... no, wait, your best choice is Samurai Jack. But Zim is second.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

As for Nominal, what Cena said. Adults don't watch the show to learn things, they watch the show because it's fun, and because it resonates with messages they already know, messages which usually go unspoken in today's media. The biggest collection of bronies are in the military; ask yourself why that is. I also find it really funny that there are all these self-proclaimed adults who honestly can't see any value in a show about friendship and being kind to one another, who actually take OFFENSE to that idea... like maybe over the years, you guys have forgotten that you don't *have* to be bitter, cynical dicks 24/7.

I think you and Gmork might need the show's lessons more than the little kids do.

Cena_mark - 2014-03-14

Applejewel wasn't a wannabe Rarity. Applejewel was awesome because it showed that Applejack is a much better friend than Rarity. It showed that AJ clearly knows Rarity better than Rarity knows AJ. Rarity's attempt at being country was a crude and insulting stereotype, whereas AJ did glamorous as good as Rarity.

Homer is right Gmork, you sound like those wrestling fans who think everything was wonderful when WWE was PG-14. Sure there were good angles, but there was also Katie Vick, Big Show's Toilet problems, and other awful yet "adult" oriented angles.
Violence, sex, and profanity doesn't inherently make a show adult or sophisticated. Those things can extend a show's freedom to explore, but most of the time its just gratuitous.

The New Meat - 2014-03-14

Not a single comment in this thread made a lick of sense.

Adham Nu'man - 2014-03-14

Jesus Fucking Christ, 5 stars for whatever this was.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

Rarihick wasn't insulting! Well, OK, towards the end it kinda was, but that was only because Applejewel was being insulting towards fashion ponies. Besides, we all know who won that little exchange... AH LOVE BEING COVERED IN MUD! Best line of the episode, by far.

That was actually kind of creepy, too. The way she derped out right before she took her mud dive reminded me of Party of One and Lesson Zero, so Gdork would probably like that episode.

SolRo - 2014-03-14

this mess is a trigger for bullying.

Hooker - 2014-03-14

Leave it to Gmork to be dumber than Cena and Homer in a MLP discussion.

EvilHomer - 2014-03-14

Some other stuff Gmork might like:

Mulia the Ninja


Lesson Zero Highlights


Fluttershy Kills a Bear

And of course, Iron Will. The entire episode is macho as fuck, so Netflix it. (s2e19)

bopeton - 2014-03-14

So many words. 5 stars for the 20 pages of rants on this video.

Billy the Poet - 2014-03-14

I think this very page might be where I decided to give up and just be old.

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-03-14

I can never make it through that shit. Always amazing how much work some people here put into their comments when only a handful of us will trudge through them.

giygusattack - 2014-03-15

I did like that one part where the entire lyrics to "Diamond Dogs" was posted.

The Mothership - 2014-06-03

Vocal fry.

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