|Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-03-19 |
I just spent three hours annotating 1 Samuel and I can say with complete confidence someone needs to tell the story of Saul.
Basically, Saul is the first King of Israel, appointing by the schizophrenic prophet Samuel. Saul is a normal guy with no political aspirations, but Samuel guilts him into becoming king: "Oh, so what. you're smarter than God now?"
"Oh no, I just don't feel qualified. I have no political training."
"Well do it anyway or everyone will think you're gay."
Later, Samuel presents Saul to Israel:
"Ooooooooooookay Israel, here's you "king" that you "needed" because God "wasn't enough for you pricks." Enjoy your calamity!"
Saul's reign is terrible for completely banal reasons. He fucks up the rituals of the ancient Hebrews just as you or I would. But God hates him so much He flat-out tells Saul was a cosmological mistake that cast doubt upon God's infallibility.
Then Saul goes apeshit and starts through spears at everyone.