"FULLY ERECT!" for me.

knock knock orange

always fuck asians

I'm sure there's already something like this in the onternet, but I thought it was funnier at first when I figured it was actual Zod sound bytes and not a comedian that Oswalt was conversing with. Still great though.

'El' indicates that he is a member of the noble Kryptonian house of El. *cough*nepotism*cough*

because public defense jobs are so cushy.

OH! They did it last year. And it's directed by Zach Snyder? Is it any good!?! Keep in mind I liked the Watchmen movie, kind of a lot (I didn't see the theatrical cut, only the nearly-4-hour directors' cut) Snyder's attention to detail was as if to say "please please please watch this Alan Moore," Moore, like Rorschach, whispers "no."

"Man of Steel" is godawful. Seriously, it's utterly horrific. Watch it on cable just so you can see how un-heroic Superman can be.

The people I know who punish themselves with such movies said Man of Steel was superior to Superman III and IV, but nowhere near II, so be careful what you wish for.

There's a four hour Watchmen? I loved that movie (bored pissless by the comic).

Man of Steel is hilarious. Superman commits casual genocide every fifteen seconds, Lois Lane inexplicably thinks everyone will believe how a frost lumberjack scared away a rapist Etch-A-Sketch with his laser eyes, General Zod's entire plan is to turn Earth into a new Krypton could be peacefully resolved with "Waitwaitwait you have a magic machine that can turn any planet into any other planet? Well why not colonize the fucking moon then?"

If you're watching a "Superman" movie and you find yourself thinking, "maybe it wasn't such a good idea to send him to earth after all", it's not a very good movie.