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Desc:New Scientology recruiting video mirrored on Chinese tubesite
Category:Religious, Advertisements
Tags:Scientology
Submitted:tgn1412
Date:06/11/14
Views:1709
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Comment count is 37
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Xenu is powerless to take it down.
kamlem
Xenu's lawyers are sadly monolingual.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Oh, it could use CRAZY EYES tag.

spikestoyiu
Classic Scientology word salad.

The Underground Bunker has been posting a lot of these internal Scientology videos and they're amazing. They've also done a good job following the GAT II and Ideal Org money making schemes. It's all pretty fascinating to me, for some weird reason.
Meerkat
I always used to go to operation clambake to read up on this shit, it fascinates me too. It's just so obviously a bunch of made up crap and yet people spend their lives following it.

Meerkat
On the other hand I'll also sit and watch Dota 2 matches from 2011 so I guess I'm pretty easy to entertain.

The Mothership
Lot of people out there looking for answers.
Oscar Wildcat
Bivalves, fresh for the shucking.

Jet Bin Fever
So how much money do you have to pay to reach this DRAMATIC STEP IN SELF AWARENESS?
spikestoyiu
What's incredible is that a lot of the required courses have already been taken by most Scientologists. They did this once before when they were like "oops we made transcription errors" and made everyone re-take a bunch of bullshit. For tens of thousands of dollars.

Jet Bin Fever
oh. Great.

Oscar Wildcat
Oh yes. That's the cool thing about Scientology. Every time you think it's peaked, it somehow doubles down again on the crazy/fraudulent.

Azmo23
all negative thoughts you ever have are fake, and are injected from the outside
only happy thoughts are real, and are birthed from within your gut
Oscar Wildcat
Thoughts like

1) This is bullshit
2) You want _how_ much?
3) Hey, that's my daughter!

etc, etc.

Azmo23
great examples!
where did those thoughts come from?
how can you stop them getting in?
how can you encourage your gut-brain godhood primetime activation?
all of these sci-fientology questions and more can be answered by simply imagineering the Truth!
but wait, there's more! our king gutbrain caesar has already creatophied all of the answers in these books that are a great answer to how you can make real money writing fiction for a niche audience!
wait ignore that last bit

EvilHomer
I just want to know how I can inject my own gutbrains into 0:43's Bridge.

jreid
Wow.
EvilHomer
Context?
Enjoy
I'd rather know who composed that catchy tune the Scientology Band is playing!

yogarfield
It has an old-school MarioKart feel that really melts away the engrams.

memedumpster
I just went here

http://tonyortega.org/category/up-the-bridge/

and spent a ton of time starting with the oldest post and reading to the newest. It's a map of the rabbit hole. Scientology is basically run like an MMORPG, with new end game content trying to keep up with demand, most of it phoned in and self-referencing. That was a ride.

misterbuns
This is the stuff.
Gmork
I felt like I just watched something Everything Is Terrible! made.

This is beyond satire. And scary beyond belief.
memedumpster
I have read the Scientology library, because Newage literature is basically my most cherished hobby. The crazier more UFO transcendental sky love it is, the better. Unarius is the reigning champion so far for me, and Scientology is actually really boring by comparison. That is, except for "Scientoloy 8-8008." This book is right up there in the crazy superdimensional manifold universal conscious observer multi eigenstate orgasm of the best of the others and I highly recommend it. If you have a Half Priced Books, Scientology keeps them stocked with their library. I have also seen this book for a dollar at dirt malls. It's a joy.

This video is right out of it (see chapter General Processing) and I fucking love this crazy shit.

"The primary benefit of Scientology 8-8008 is that it works so swiftly, even when indifferently used, that the person in the environment of the preclear are overreached by the preclear and find themselves subject to his control when they act to continue his aberration. Further, the auditor is seldom aware of the height his preclear attains until the preclear attains it."

Delicious fattening word salad.
memedumpster
Let this playlist run, do not turn it off. Lady talks about saving the earth and wiping out an alien spaceship by turning its earth smashing rockets on itself.

memedumpster
One more excerpt from The Good Book.

On "Beingness"

"Space is not necessary to the beingness of a thetan when the thetan is above the tone level of 40.0 and can create space at will. He creates space to have beingness. At 40.0 space and beingness can be considered to be interchangeable. Beingness can exist without any energy or matter - which is to say, without time."

Oscar Wildcat
I was obsessed not with the tech nor the text but with the man and cult itself. The authorized bio is a total snooze but the real story is quite a hoot.

http://www.xenu.net/archive/books/bfm/authorno.htm

That's some industrial strength 100% wolf urine evil right there.

cognitivedissonance
At least Crowley is poetic and deeply sardonic! Everything about Scientology is just garbled, science fiction Chinese Telephone stuff that Hubbard learned when he worked on Jack Parsons' moonchild working. Crowley took Parsons' money because he saw an out of his situation (and had cleverly situated a prophecy about a "rich man from the West" in the Book of the Law, which is BRILLIANT), but Hubbard took Parsons' money because that's all Hubbard could do. Both Crowley and Hubbard were con-artists, but Crowley's madness was built around a solid core of Cambridge theology and a genuine artistry, while Hubbard was just a hack pulp author.

memedumpster
HAHAHA, the playlist ran out and a video came on of a song with the lyrics "Everybody love South African girls" and I thought Scientology just went straight off its own rails.
Syd Midnight
When the playlist runs out, go back and manually click on the movies down in the lower right to see the ones you missed.

When you're sick of Hubbards droning nonsense, check out "Scientology Toastmaster Speech by Carla Moxon" for some 100% sincere insanity. God damn.

BiggerJ
I watched this and my internet went down. No joke.
Billy the Poet
The PRC's indifference to copyright works for good today.
Aubrey McFate
It's so EASY to join!
gmol
Hebbo.

Does anyone else hear the mega-buster power up sound near the begining?
Needtodestroy
Take it to the bridge!
spikestoyiu
First dude is Grant Cardone: infamous shitbird.

http://tonyortega.org/2013/02/17/sunday-funnies-the-grant-card one-is-an-asshat-special-edition/
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