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Desc:Meet the Vipukirves, a 0 axe, from Finland. For cutting wood.
Category:Science & Technology, Nature & Places
Tags:wood, finland, axe, SFW fetish, heavy breathing lumberjack
Submitted:The Mothership
Date:09/04/14
Views:1238
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THE KIMOPHONE
Comment count is 23
infinite zest
Got nothing on my Diamond Axe
urbanelf
His crafting table is shit, too.

SteamPoweredKleenex
It's a weird shape. It's like there's not enough corners or something.

oddeye
Cutting all this wood.... is giving me wood.
blue vein steel
yeah, why no SFW Fetish tag?


Sexy Duck Cop
The tragedy of Finnish lumberjacking is that I'll never know if cleaving a stump in three whacks like that is heroic or pathetic by lumberjack standards.
Bort
I have no practical use for a Superaxe, but damn if I don't want to get wood and then whack it with one of these.
infinite zest
getting wood and whacking it doesn't necessarily require a superaxe..

Bort
D'ohh!

TeenerTot
But what makes it different from any other axe? Was it blessed by Kalevanpoika or something??
chumbucket
From the website:
"The function of the axe is based on the blade’s one-sided design. When the blade strikes a log, it begins to incline, creating torque, which multiplies the splitting force and enables the blade to detach the log wood. Kinetic energy ends on top of the log so the blade will not slip."
It also supposedly allows you to start splitting from the edge of the log rather than having to hack away from the center.

chumbucket
and this:
http://youtu.be/eqsQ28Se9to

Bort
Looks like the axe head is designed to crowbar the wood after it strikes. That's pretty clever.

TeenerTot
Ohhhh....Thanks, chum!

Bort
There the blood-stained son of death-land,
There Tuoni's son and hero,
Cuts in pieces Lemminkainen,
Chops him with his mighty hatchet,
Till the sharpened axe strikes flint-sparks
From the rocks within his chamber,
Chops the hero into fragments,
Into five unequal portions,
Throws each portion to Tuoni,
In Manala's lowest kingdom,
Speaks these words when he has ended:
"Swim thou there, wild Lemminkainen,
Flow thou onward in this river,
Hunt forever in these waters,
With thy cross-bow and thine arrow,
Shoot the swan within this empire,
Shoot our water-birds in welcome!"
Thus the hero, Lemminkainen,
Thus the handsome Kaukomieli,
The untiring suitor, dieth
In the river of Tuoni,
In the death-realm of Manala.
Bort
Or you may remember Lemminkainen as the failure / loser from "The Day the Earth Froze". I forget that some of you had normal childhoods that didn't involve studying Finnish legends.

Oscar Wildcat
Oh yes, you mean Blind LemminKainen.

memedumpster
You mean with this axe I can make a Sanpo!?

SteamPoweredKleenex
LemminkainenParty.org

Robin Kestrel
I co-DM'ed a long-running D&D campaign with the mythology pretty much just lifted straight from the Kalevala.

Also, that is a damn nice axe. Makes you wanna go buy a wood-burning stove.

BorrowedSolution
Ooooo. I vant vun!
infinite zest
You're gonna need suspenders and a bra, and get used to hanging around in bars. :)

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