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Desc:Ten years ago, Christian Weston Chandler was upset Santa did not leave him a hogtied virgin.
Category:Science & Technology, Advertisements
Tags:santa, christmas, Chris-Chan, Christian Weston Chandler, homemade sonichu christmas star
Submitted:Sexy Duck Cop
Date:12/26/14
Views:1608
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Comment count is 38
EvilHomer
I don't think I've seen this one! Is this a recently leaked Christorical find?
Cena_mark
It was from the long lost directors cut of Look I'm on TV. I'm not how it surfaced.

Cena_mark
According to the CWCki it leaked through his latest "girlfriend" Catherine, but she turned out to be a troll.

EvilHomer
lol, yeah, I heard about the Catherine reveal. It was totally obvious, especially after the most recent apology video. He never wins, poor guy.

It's wonderful how, despite thousands of trolls spending tens of thousands of man-hours recording and cataloging every minute detail of Chris' life, there are still undiscovered gems like this left to be unearthed.

EvilHomer
Dang, this was from before he met Megan, wasn't it? Ghosts of CWCmas Past...!

BiggerJ
A bunch of people on the forums were sickened by the revealation that there's still a secret 'inner circle' of trolls manipulating Chris with a false reality. Their secret sub-forum was deleted but they probably won't stop fucking with him until the day he dies. There are people out there who come home from work and exercise power over an autistic man.

EvilHomer
Assuming they even work! Guys like A-log and Jack Thaddeus were even more useless than Chris himself.

I was just reading the article on "Catherine", now updated with her own firsthand accounts, and it really struck me how ridiculous she seemed. Catherine/Catie spends a lot of time dwelling on how "creepy" Chris was with his floundering attempts to get romantically acquainted with her... despite the fact that leading the guy on was the sole reason she met up with him in the first place!

Yes, Chris has a habit of being inappropriate and overstepping boundaries. Many of his galpals had perfectly legitimate reasons to get angry with him - they gave him an inch worth of friendship, and he went fullblown stalker, sometimes ruining them in the process. *But Catie was a troll*. Catie *wanted* Chris to think that they were together, at least for a little while, at least until she got some goodies for herself. I'm sorry, but all the sympathy that girls like Megan and Sarah Hammer garnered (and they garnered A LOT of sympathy), that shit doesn't apply to manipulative buttholes like Catie. You can't spend months methodically victimizing a fat lonely slow-in-the-mind, then try and gain the moral high ground by claiming victimization because the poor idiot tried to kiss you after your troll "date".

oddeye
What forum and who are these people you are talking about?

MacGyver Style Bomb
Dicking around with someone who is permanently stuck with the intelligence and emotional maturity of a ten year old child is a royally fucked up thing to do.

Trolling Chris is like going to a playground and picking fistfights with children. The only big difference is that you're not going to get arrested.

themilkshark
Google CWCki Forums if you want to know about Chris Chan. POEtv has a love/hate relationship with CWC, they can't decide if it's okay to laugh at him. Everytime a CWC video gets posted it pisses somebody off here.

EvilHomer, Catie was a collaboration of at least 3 or 4 people. Chris was all over OKCupid and some people wanted to get him a date to generate CWC content. They got a lot. Chris got a neighbor's cat put to sleep because it scratched him. Your moral assessment is ridiculous. Go watch horrible cartoons for baby girls.

EvilHomer
I'm not claiming Chris is a saint. He is a deeply flawed individual; spoiled, petty, and sometimes cruel. What I'm saying is that Catie is no better, and it's absurd for her to pretend otherwise, particularly when the things Chris "did" to her were the things she wanted him to do all along.

You're entitled to your opinion, of course. If you hang around the forums, then you must know already that for the last however many years, there has been a rift in the CWC fanbase regarding the moral culpability of his trolls. The idea that Chris "deserves it" - that he is some kind of postmodern supervillain who literally needs to be destroyed - is not a new one; indeed, it is one of the oldest ways of looking at Chris. However, it is a meme that few people accept, particularly not these days, not in the wake of what happened to him. Nearly everyone now sees Chris' trolls - that is, those people who would go out of their way to twist daggers into what remains of the life of an already broken man - for what they truly are: cruel sociopathic opportunists, no better, and in many cases far worse, than Chris himself.

It's OK to laugh at him! I am not what I would consider a "white knight", let alone the Tumblr police, and I think few people (if any) here on poeTV are either. In my view, laughter is integral to understanding Sonichu's deeper cultural significance. Chris is Don Quixote; the way he suffers through and then triumphs over absurd situations is at once hilarious and uplifting, the farce a fundamental part of his journey towards becoming a true hero.

What is NOT OK is people stalking him IRL, manipulating him, hurting him, and then acting like they're the good guys for righteously tormenting a retard. These people are not the good guys. They are the villains.


Perhaps, Mr Milkshark, if you came and watched some horrible cartoons for baby girls with me, then you'd come to understand...?

EvilHomer
I could give you a preliminary Watching List, if you'd like! I recommend starting with the Babs Seed episode, One Bad Apple (sason 3 episode 4, on Netflix, if you've got it); that episode is particularly relevant to this situation.

Cena_mark
Milkshart, you sound like those terrible libertarians who somehow think Chris deserves to be made fun of because he gets government assistance. I've enjoyed Chris-Chan over the years, but the active trolling really needs to stop.
Also, you really should watch the MLP episode One Bad Apple.

EvilHomer
Cena's correct, as usual. While I wouldn't say it's a libertarian position so much as it is a eugenicist/ social-pragmatist position that appeals to people at every point along the libertarian/paternalist axis, the "Welfare Cheat" critique is a common tactic used by anti-Chris assholes, and your own arguments, Mr Milkshark, sound dangerously close to this. Frankly, if anyone deserves to get welfare money, it is Chris - he's both completely unable to function in adult society AND the victim of some seriously horrible abuse. If Chris chooses to waste his money on Legos, then that is his business, not mine.

Another episode that you might wish to watch is Keep Calm and Flutter On, also from season 3. Replace "Discord" with "Chris" and "Fluttershy" with "you", Mister Milkshark, and you might learn a thing or two about the value of Kindness.

EvilHomer
I'm guessing you're aware of this page already, but:

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/A-Logging

Shoebox Joe
What else did they get out of him, Milkshark? While getting a cat put to sleep for simply scratching is pretty evil, having an inner-circle of gangstalkers push you around when it's obvious you don't know any makes the evil "put cat to sleep" irrelevant and lackluster at best.

5'ing for the moral discussion. I get the feeling that with out Wesley Willis' tenacity he'd be just as much as a target as Chris-Chan.

Sexy Duck Cop
EH:

"What I'm saying is that Catie is no better, and it's absurd for her to pretend otherwise"

Everyone is better than Chris-Chan. That's what makes him a star. There's no possible combination of characteristics that can produce an individual beneath Chris-Chan. There are 90 year-old homeless quadriplegics on the streets of Mumbai begging for a sip of urine-tainted sewer water that look at Chris-Chan and say "Well, at least I don't have it as bad as that guy."

And yeah, I get the urge to feel sorry for him. Really, I do. But then eight seconds later he impotently beats up a piece of paper strapped to a fluffy clown doll's velvet face, unleashing all his fury on some yarn and 8x10" printer paper, and nothing can stem the tide of the torrent of chortles that follows.

Chris-Chan is the funniest motherfucker on the planet, and no amount of moral ambiguity will change that.

EvilHomer
Chris is most definitely funny, which even ignoring all the ethical arguments against his trolls, is itself enough to raise him above Catie.

As I've said elsewhere, I am not saying that you should stop laughing at Chris. Chris is hilarious, and his ability to make us smile is a huge part of his charm! What I am saying is that people shouldn't torment him, and if they do, they should not act like they've got the moral highground, because they don't.

Read Catie's account of her dates with Chris:

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Catherine#The_Date

She's a total creep, yet she seems completely oblivious to this.

Sexy Duck Cop
If Catie was A) already doing online dating and happened to bump into Chris-Chan, B) Made it abundantly clear she was not his girlfriend, and C) was sincerely willing to hang out with him as a "friend" (i.e. that irrational part of us that sincerely wants to help him and be THE ONE who gives him obvious advice that he listens to and improves his life), then she's not really that gross, just mildly manipulative.

Also, the line about VISUAL CONFIRMED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. provided some light chortles, because I imagine that's what it's like to see Chris-Chan and think "This is real life."

Sexy Duck Cop
Evil Homer, what do you think is more awkward and surreal: Seeing Usama bin Laden seconds before shooting him in the face, or Christian Weston Chandler erotically grabbing your shoulder?

EvilHomer
SDC, she was none of those things. She set up a fake account in order to troll Chris. She did not make anything "abundantly clear" except for the fact that she was interested in him (which she wasn't). And she was NEVER sincerely interested in hanging out with him as a "friend" - it was always about digging up dirt and laughing at the poor guy. No matter how much she might like to justify her behavior, Catie was not Megan, an innocent friend sucked into a nightmare because of Chris' stalker instincts. She was pure troll, from start to finish. Her account is funny, yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that she's just another A-logging turd, the exact sort of sub-Chris butthole who carries the blame for the rest of us getting no new Sonichu comics.

Here's another good read, from Anna the Crazy Pacer Girl, one of Chris' only real friends:

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Anna_McLerran#Anti-troll_plea_to_ Catie

Spaceman Africa
The organized trolling of Chris-chan reached its peak long, long ago and now its bordering on gangstalking and needs to stop.
themilkshark
Thanks for the opinion, but you don't matter.

cognitivedissonance
Were it not for the obsessive gangstalking, he'd be in prison by now or dead by misadventure. We keep this man alive, albeit in a hideous purgatory of his own preference.

badideasinaction
It's kinda depressing seeing this, for as weird as this is it at least has the veneer of being a normal family Christmas (his age notwithstanding), and it shows how much things have fallen.
NewHeavenSockman
the chris trolls always make me chuckle, but it's been diminishing returns for awhile and the knowledge that the people still doing this are just as broken as chris diminishes the fun even further.
Maggot Brain
Can someone elxpane why so much human effort was/is devoted to man/woman.
BiggerJ
Chris was an unprecedented perfect storm of funnyness, unpleasantness (which provided a moral excuse for trolling him) and gullibility (which stems from his autism, which prevents him from being about to determine people's intentions).

oddeye
does he actually have autism? I've read otherwise so now I am confused as shit because surely he has SOMETHING, right?

Void 71
Right (Wrong?) place at the right time. If there was a Sonichu web site in the late '90s, it would have been a link at Portal of Evil and nothing more, but he spread his wings when the chan boards and video streaming were gaining steam. He showcased himself to the worst specimens of humanity at a time when they were all starting to gather under the same rock and the end result is more than a decade of mutual obsession and depravity.

EvilHomer
Oddeye -

http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Autism

Trolls sometimes like to claim that he has Aspergers or some other condition, since mislabeling him in that manner will generally cause him to fly into a rage.

oddeye
Evilhomer knows what's down. Cheers, big ears.

Sexy Duck Cop
"Chris-Chan was God's third mistake."

--Nietzsche

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
It's a shame that house didn't burn to the ground.
dairyqueenlatifah
His parents both look incredibly depressed and sound dead on the inside.

It's like this was the Christmas they realized they'd created a crazy manchild beyond the point of fixing.
Scarecrow
Chris-chan frequents cybersex games as himself, looking for sadistic women to torture him. His character on ShangrilaMUX is Tannek. He is also Shangrila staffer Mercy's personal webcam slave on a server called 'Fogzhat', which is for the Nation of Islam. She's an Ifriti Domina. Her real name is Jenna L. Williamson, she's Rhode Island Mafia, and an operations coordinator for MegamanMUSH, the Symbionese Liberation Army. Patty Hearst, anyone?

Sexy Duck Cop
That cat at 2:34 is so fucking embarrassed.
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