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Comment count is 15
SolRo - 2015-01-07

-1 because she will not die young.

she will linger on, while many of your friends and family will die at much earlier ages.


oddeye - 2015-01-07

Dude, pretty sure you can be banned for making death threats against other user's friends and family.


Gmork - 2015-01-08

I hope that was a joke, because if you thought solro made any death threats just now that's pretty fucking dumb.


millerman13 - 2015-01-07

what the fuck is wrong with her?


fluffy - 2015-01-08

She was well-known and popular in the 90s. So far that doesn't seem to work out very well for anyone, especially not people whose entire schtick was pretending to pretend to be vapid and clueless.


Bort - 2015-01-07

The other night I dreamed I owned a ukulele, and because I wanted to give it a totally metal kenning-like name, I named it "Ear-Wormmer". (Even in my dream I was aware of the misspelling but that's what I named it.)

But after watching this video, I want nothing to do with any of that. Victoria Jackson literally ruined my dreams.


Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-01-07

This morning I had a long string of dreams where it was Finals week and I had a huge essay to write for multiple classes. I repeatedly woke up and fell asleep, constantly straddling the lines between both states of consciousness so well that I composed a coherent, well-structured essay about a king who began as a dynamic, enigmatic figure during his rise to power, but regressed into a flat one through a series of deadening political compromises that functionally reduced him to an ass on a chair by the end of the story.

I am genuinely proud of the essay I hallucinated between 4 AM and 7 AM.

Also, last time Finals rolled around, I had a nightmare I missed exams by a week and literally--and this is not a joke--jumped out of bed naked screaming WAIT WAIT WAIT, which woke up my roommate. He said "Well, now I've seen your ass."


Bort - 2015-01-07

Sounds like a cool essay. Reminds me a little of "All the King's Men" (the 1949 version not the 2006 version), about the rise and career of Huey Long more or less. The thing I took away from the movie was, whatever the Huey Long proxy's motives for getting into politics (let's assume they were genuinely good intentions for the sake of argument), each ally he makes or each favor he owes becomes another piece of a machine he has to protect, so by the end all he's about is protecting his machine rather than using it to improve people's lives. I don't believe all politicians end up completely divorced from their ideals like that, but it is a risk that comes with politics.


infinite zest - 2015-01-07

Man.. all my school dreams are from 5th grade science class. Not quite sure why science.. I wasn't that good at it but I wasn't horrible. In college I had a real-life science nightmare though: I took a biology class where attendance was optional and you could risk everything on one final exam, which is what I did.. anyway it was the only 0% I ever got. They let me retake the class to take the F off my transcript.. maybe that explains the dreams. Oh well. Glad you remembered your dream so vividly. Often I dream up these insanely good hip hop lyrics, and even though I'm no rapper, by the time I get to my pen and paper they're gone.


Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-01-07

I think the influence was a cross between Robert Baratheon in Game of Thrones and Henry the Whatever in Shakespeare. (Yes, I know more about Game of Thrones than Shakespeare. TRY TO STOP ME WORLD.) The larger idea was less about specific ideals than the generalized fact that, for many of us, the idea of power is more compelling than the reality of power. Everyone fantasizes about being President, but no one wants to work 20-hour shifts while simultaneously ordering a drone strike on a village of Afghani children. My king loved the nobility of the theoretical pursuit, but collapsed in the wake of the tedium of leadership. He was a fascinating, compelling figure. Basically Obama.

And the weird thing was that, because I was never fully asleep nor fully awake, at several points throughout the night I'd be staring out the window and thinking "I should really get to work on that essay (that doesn't exist) rather than lollygagging in bed." Then I'd be all "This essay doesn't exist. You just had a dream about it." At which point my brain would yell at itself "BUT WHAT IF IT IS REAL???" There's no comeback to that.


Adham Nu'man - 2015-01-07

I would kill myself.


blood_visions - 2015-01-07

Holy shit I'm 99.9% sure that's kimbros's picking parlor in franklin tn. I've done comedy in that room. It's real small and we even got a better crowd than her. I'm officially doing better than Victoria Jackson


Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-01-07

Victoria Jackson is the Chris-Chan of comedy. Get the right people together and they could fill a Dubai waterpark. Get normal people together and you couldn't fill a shoebox.


infinite zest - 2015-01-07

It sounds like she's trying to be like a right-wing Kimya Dawson. It was only a matter of time I suppose.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2015-01-08

According to the description, this "song" (was her original shtick intentionally being awful at singing/playing?) is in response to another tune by someone named Jill Souble. You may recognize her as being the singer of the song, "I Kissed A Girl."

Anyway, Jill's lyrics are about wanting to see a miracle before she dies, but that it's unlikely (presumably due to religion not being real). Since Victoria went full-on right-wing tea-party nutjob, I guess songs about Jesus are on the menu.

Someone with the Jill Souble handle even says "good job" in the comments. Actually, right now, it's the ONLY comment.


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