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Desc:Hilariously awful tourist board video promptly removed from their channel.
Category:Accidents & Explosions, Advertisements
Tags:singapore, tourism, tourist board, peeing in your purse
Submitted:baleen
Date:02/15/15
Views:1246
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Comment count is 34
baleen
I feel tourist board videos have not be adequately mined yet.
Maggot Brain
Does anyone else live in the San Diego/southern border area? The radio stations that broadcast out of Mexico are required to play Mexican PSA in English that are delivered in the same monotone voice.

"With you Mexico is more, "Morexico!""
FURY-161
I work in the media in Singapore, and for the tourist board in the past no less. Knowing the people that work there, it does not surprise me one jot that the tourist board thought that this was a genuinely good idea.
EvilHomer
Well, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we demand some anecdotes.

Rodents of Unusual Size
There are parts of this that sound like a skit from a third grade TEFL course. Except for the end. The end needed a cartoon panda or something.

yogarfield
Let's hear em.


Lef
I lived there for 7 years, it's not that bad.

Go for a stroll while having a drink. Get propositioned by all three sexes in the most white collar residential neighborhoods. Head over to a sex shop and stock up on the latest (overpriced) toys, meander back to your short stay hotel to get your freak on while watching some online porn (sites are no longer blocked!).

Keep your nose out of their politics, don't say anything racist and drugs are bad, avoid drugs. Seriously.

Otherwise, superficially it's a pretty nice place to live. Good food, safe, nice weather, good parks to walk/jog. Un-corrupted police by most standards, pretty people from all over the world, cheap MRT/Buses/Taxi's. The city looks more modern than anything in America.

Their strange censorship laws are a bummer, it killed any future for their art scene. The disregard for any kind of manual labor doesn't help either.


But yes, it's the possible future for most of the west, and it is depressing as fuck if you think about it.

Lef
FURY-161, please do share some stories!

FURY-161
We were working for the STB to make a video for the Vietnamese market. It might even be on youtube, I honestly haven't checked.

We had a section about the local aquarium, and the script had a line that was something along the lines of "the aquarium has XXX species of fish!".

That line was rejected by the STB, because a dolphin at the aquarium had died that week, and they didn't want to "draw undue attention to the animals".

The animals.

At the aquarium.

yogarfield
One of the more expensive places to live in the world, correct?

But dat Asam Laksa...

craptacular
forget laksa, i used to chill in Little India all day long cuz that's where the real best food is! although tbh, sometimes the best food is in the dingiest outdoor foodcourts.

Bus_Aint_Comin
a while ago i met a group of young singaporeans (?) who were all dj's, singers, artists, etc. apparently in singapore it is functionally impossible to make a real living doing these things- they were all very open about their parents being doctors & lawyers (especially lawyers) and supporting them partially or totally, because there was at that time (4 years ago approximately) exactly one nightclub in singapore that played any interesting music (flying lotus, etc.)

they were all nice, attractive, creative kids. this video is like someone gave them lots of thorazine.
That guy
Singapore! See Where The World Is Heading!
....
......
(please note- the following things can get you jailed for life in Singapore:
EvilHomer
Precisely where the world is heading. :(

Oscar Wildcat
I came here to say this very same thing. Pretty much doing anything outside of consuming luxury goods at the mall will get you jail time. They're not lying about that claim: it's actually a threat I think.

Rodents of Unusual Size
The world is heading for more pregnant women.

infinite zest
Really? I mostly remember the Michael Fay incident and that's pretty much all I know. Singapore seems to have a pretty vibrant nightlife, so I'm assuming people get fucked up just like we do in the states and suffer the consequences for our actions. Like, flagellation isn't cool but neither's getting thrown in the drunk tank, where guards turn a blind eye to drunk people beating the shit out of eachother for 12 hours and even place bets.

That guy
I was hoping for a hilarious list of trivial crimes with horrible punishments here. You guys are dropping the ball.


(Disclaimer- the following things are against the law in Singapore:

yogarfield
Buying or selling of chewing gum. Possession and/or chewing is legal, I think.

craptacular
who cares, i could happily never chew gum ever again. as for the death penalty for drugs, well, if you want to get high go across the bridge to Johor Bahru. that's where most of the manual labourers come from, and many of them will work their entire lives in Singapore, house their families over the border in Malaysia, and never be given proper citizenship. kinda like america and mexico... maybe a little less harsh, but still living invisibly in a society that wants your dirt cheap labour but doesn't want to support you in kind.

oddeye
yeah, but is it his?
Scrimmjob
Pfft.. that ending. Has anyone ever done that in real life?
dairyqueenlatifah
You mean the gift or the man's reaction to it?

Binro the Heretic
Every time she said "Honey, look at that!" I expected him to turn and see a dai kaiju demolishing a building in the distance.
boner
Singapore: probably no better than where you already are.
betamaxed
I like how the woman's gift for her husband is something that she pissed on.
somedongus
A few years back I spent about two weeks wandering around Singapore. There was a great bar where you bought a bottle of scotch and they wrote your name on it and they just held it for you for whenever you came back. I was the only kwailo I ever saw in there and I made great hay of the 5 or so english karaoke ballads they had. Incredibly delicious food to be had at every turn. This one food court had at least 250 different vendors and was open 24 hours. It was about 100 degrees/85% humidity every day, and I would walk around and park it at different cafe's and get the beer specials to cool off. Three ice cold 22oz Tiger's for like and a huge plate of deep fried whitebait and just sit and watch the humanity streaming by. I checked out the casino in the basement of that monstrous triple hotel in this video, foreign passport holders only, place made the Bellagio look like a dump. I felt I was missing something so I went and had a white linen suit made for me. Wearing that around the city at night as a single white man I could really have used some hooker repellant. Shit, I need to go back there.
Adham Nu'man
I enjoyed reading that. Thanks.

Rodents of Unusual Size
Anthony Bourdain + Daniel Craig = you

dairyqueenlatifah
I love how there's really no advertising of any sorts of sites or attractions here. It's just some inane meaningless 3 minute slideshow of a mundane city with a couple talking about how happy they are that it's their anniversary. You could do this with any city including Pyongyang and it wouldn't be any more or less appealing or to the point.

It also needs a "wait for it" tag.
infinite zest
Besides the twist ending this is pretty much every tourist video. And it worked on me. Singapore's got some amazing architecture and looks pretty beautiful. I've never really given it much thought but I'd like to maybe pursue one of those overseas English teaching things. I'd love to go to Singapore but how much of it is Malay or Mandarin with little English?
Lef
Everyone speaks English, it's the principle language taught in school. Most younger folk speak Mandarin (also mandatory in school), and the older folk may only know Hokkien or Tamil or Malay and some English.

I've heard Shanghai or the other big cities in China are the best places to go to find a TESOL gig. Japan might be a good place too.. but China is so much more decadent and fun.

craptacular
From what I hear, Japan offers better wages but programs generally require you to have a bachelor's degree plus the TOEFL. China and SE Asian countries are more lax and while they pay less, you can find some that will hire you because you're a native english speaker. Really depends what school you apply to. In any case as long as you come out with more than you brought, you'll have enough probably for a good 6 months of basic travel, and along the backpacker circuit it's easy enough to find a temp bartender gig to fill your pockets.

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