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Desc:Fox Kids is unprepared for the pocket monster world that's coming.
Category:Business, Advertisements
Tags:power rangers, Horrible cartoon infinity, fox kids, upfront, Haim Saban
Submitted:Seven Arts/H8 Red
Date:02/27/15
Views:1144
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Comment count is 20
Monkey Napoleon
I didn't watch the whole thing, but I noticed something skipping around. It makes me kinda sad to see that props from Starship Troopers ended up on some shitty 17th edition of Power Rangers. 32:50
SteamPoweredKleenex
Why? The armor was better-written than Starship Trooper's script. And it had better acting skills than most of the cast.

Seriously, though. The armor has had quite a history. Most people remember it being used by the Alliance troopers in Firefly and by the ape troops at the end of the Mark Wahlburg Planet of the Apes remake.

Xenocide
That season of Rangers is kind of hilarious to watch if you know a couple of things about it: Fox insisted on a sci-fi angle for it so the whole thing takes place on a traveling space colony. But all the Japanese source footage comes from a fantasy show about some guys who get their powers from magical forest spirits and protect fairyland from a bad guy who is essentially Captain Hook.

So it's like someone in an editing room desperately trying to recut The Hobbit so it seems like it's taking place on Deep Space Nine and Bilbo is a space robot.

infinite zest
Haha I'm not sure if that was the one that was on when I was in Japan. That was summer of 1995, and all the TV I watched when I was over there was either Power Rangers or documentaries commemorating the 50th anniversary of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the Power Rangers commemorating the anniversary of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in a hour-long special. Really. I was convinced that whatever I was watching was like some sort of remake of American Power Rangers and not the other way around, but it was very grounded in nature and not space.

Ugh
for 12:25, i'm done
Xenocide
He has no style. He has no grace.

infinite zest
I just skipped to 12:25.. ugh is right. One of my first acting jobs was actually on a local Fox affiliate back in 19994. A friend of mine's older brother was sort of the host of Fox Kids, sort of doing a "cool" Zach Morris routine during the bumps, and got me the job. It was weird because I couldn't get Fox (at the time channel 49) at home so I talked about how cool all these shows were that I had never seen. But I guess that's acting for you.

Ugh
like moving a stick through a pile of shit, i had to have another stir

47:45 if you feel like dry heaving, gotta stick with it for a little bit

infinite zest
Holy. shit.

EvilHomer
There's a lot of painful material here, but so far, I think my stars are going to the Three Friends and Jerry segment, between 19:20 and 20:50. The timid clapping at the end is perfect.
EvilHomer
It's funny how the whole thing is like, crap, crap, licensed crap, Power Rangers nostalgia seven years too late, crap. And, as Seven Arts points out, not so much as a glimmer of Pokemon.

What the hell was the point of that song and dance routine at the end there? This is some kind of affiliate meeting, yes? Meaning that everyone in the audience is, presumably, a goddamn adult?

infinite zest
I skipped around too, but the ending is something magical. One part I skipped to used the word "tweens." Some might remember it from Lord of the Rings but I don't think I heard people running around saying it until the mid-to-late 00's.

infinite zest
I think we're relatively the same age EH; would you have rather grown up with crap like this or grown up now with shows written by people who grew up with crap like this and do what they do as a reactionary tactic against crap like this?

EvilHomer
I remember hearing the word "tween" at least as far back as Hanson, but that might be an East Coast thing.

Another thing that buggers me about this is the way Mr Fox Executive keeps yammering on ever-so-proudly about his "Positioning Statement", as if positioning statements really matter, and aren't just meaningless lines of jargon fluff, pseudo-creative busywork invented by overpaid suits solely so that they can pretend like they're working, and actually worth the exorbitant salaries they rake in. Do these assholes really talk like that, in real life? It's no wonder their entire stupid brand was taken off the air less than two years after this.

EvilHomer
I think the main reason why kids shows are good today is the same reason why premium television is good today; because the Internet killed off many of these cynical, Cable TV dinosaur-fuckers. Why would ANY kid want to "navigate through a programming block" consisting of Bad Cat and Angela Anaconda, when they could be downloading porn and playing racist Flash games on AlbinoBlackSheep?

NASCAR Superchargers looked pretty badass, though. No idea why that one failed.

infinite zest
Yeah, kids growing up with mostly shit are going to have a reactionary motive, hence Adventure Time, Stephen Universe. Gravity Falls.. anything on Cartoon Network and probably a million other shows I haven't seen. MLPFiM is even a good example of that.. I like that show but tell me that the earlier incarnations weren't shit. But now we're entering a time where some of our beloved 80s/90s cartoons are getting a reboot, like Ducktales, which I can only assume will be a lot like a combination between MLPFiM and Gravity Falls, and the humor I for one loved on Adventure Time Teen Titans Go and even Gumball's getting a bit stale. Personally I'd rather have grown up watching primarily bullshit than quality kids' programming beacuse what are the kids watching it now going to do 20 years from now?

Rodents of Unusual Size
It's like a Horrible Cartoon Infinity timeloop, and these people know they are trapped and will never have any other form of entertainment ever again so they figure why not?
Rodents of Unusual Size
I've never heard of ANY of these. The Three Friends and Jerry looks offensively bad.

All of these cartoons have no excuse. They have devolved from 80s Saturday morning cartoons, like the Morlocks from our own humanity.

SteamPoweredKleenex
You know your shows are in trouble when all you can do to praise them is compare them to more successful programs.

As for Three Friends, Bathrobe-Idiot wasn't kidding when he compared it to South Park, kind of. I mean, if this was supposed to be for kids where SP wasn't, it kind of failed...

"Although Fox Family allowed The Three Friends and Jerry on their lineup, many parents thought it was not appropriate for children to watch. The Three Friends and Jerry show had sexual themes as in one episode Jerry peeps on Linda in the girls' locker room, also in the opening scene The Three Friends and Jerry are trying to look at the girls' panties with a mirror while the girls are jumping rope. In another episode the kids are caught by their teacher going to pornography pages on the school computers. The show also showed the kids involved in other illegal activities such as making counterfeit money, stealing and breaking into houses. Due to these causes, the show was only broadcast about one year in the United States."

EvilHomer
I am really interested in seeing Three Friends and Jerry now. It looks and sounds like a horrifying, zero-budget bastardization of South Park, Beavis & Butthead, and Caillou.

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