OPEN YOUR HEART AND DIG UP SOME INSPIRATION FOR YOU TO LIVE YOUR LIFE FOREVER WITH NO REGRETS AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS...WITH FOSSILS!!!

I know we live in a world in which the people responsible for this may very well have done this unironically and be oblivious to how ridiculous this is, but I want to believe that the people behind this, needing to localize a song with Japanese lyrics, consciously went 'fuck it' and decided to go all out and make something that sounds like it belongs in an 80's cartoon. This would be the full version of the song used only in the movie they make out of the five-episode pilot.

"DATE WOMEN, GAIN THEIR TRUST! THEN TRAIN THEM TO DESTROY OTHER TRAINERS' WOMEN! WILL YOU BE THE CHAMPION?!?!?"
You know... that could be a thing. An evil thing, but certainly a thing.

DON'T LET THE PRESENT IMPRISON YOUR DREAMS

*cybergoth dancing*