|il fiore bel |
For Chocolate Rain tag.
Levittown is a fucking toilet, so I don't see the problem here.
|The Mothership |
Oh god the puns.
'some sweet sixteen party'
so sweet it was sour.'
I don't know if that joke works or not because I have never tasted a poop before.
UNLIKE SOME APPARENTLY
|infinite zest |
It looked like a shitty party to begin with.
|That guy |
He JUST BOUGHT that canopy HOURS EARLIER!!
Thank God for his tech-savvy sister.
This is blatant clickbait. We cannot 'WATCH' a plane drop feces onto a Sweet 16 Party, as despite the misleading title and preload, the video does not show any actual footage of the impact. In fact, they do not even show footage of either the aftermath, or the cleanup; the closest we come to the good stuff is a brief segment, about halfway through, where the reporter says that yes he's got some close-up photos of the blue clumpy airline shit, but he's not going to show them to us because evidently that is something we don't want to see. UHHH EXCUSE ME, SIR, YES WE DO WANT TO SEE IT, VERY MUCH SO. I was TOLD I would be watching a PLANE dropping FECES onto a SWEET 16 PARTY. Now give me PLANE, FECES, SWEET 16.
I was going to one star this on principle, but the puns deserve some stars, particularly the one at the end.
'iiiimagoo' on Youtube raises some good points and makes a persuasive argument against the veracity of this story.
Doing some research here, it appears that the blue 'Port-a-potty" shit-residue is no longer industry standard. Anotec, the blue chemical used in airline crappers, was apparently phased out by the mid-2000s; nowadays, airline toilets are vacuum-based, and without Anotec-style toilet additives being introduced into the waste system, modern airplane shit-and-piss balls retain their natural coloration. I did not know that, but the lack of blue stains part, at least, checks out.
Everything else, however, is suspect. Planes do not generally jettison waste in mid-flight, and the waste should have been frozen into fist-sized chunks of turd-hail, likely ripping a hole straight through that canopy of theirs. Goose shit being mistaken for airline shit is a very common occurrence, apparently, and the FFA gets many goose shit complaints each year. Perhaps the reason why Fox News decline to show us any footage of the offending fecal mess, was because they *knew* it was just goose shit, and wanted to leave out that detail in order to better sell the story?
It's around the time of the summer migration period for Canadian geese, and Levittown PA is likely beneath their flightpath. So, my vote is going to this having been goose shit, not airplane shit.
The not being frozen part is the real giveaway to me, unless the plane was flying low so they could hit their target more easily.
I don't know which Levittown this is, but if it's Pennsylvania there's an airport within 15 miles, and if it's NY there's one within 25 miles. For the PA one, at least, I could see planes being low enough that things wouldn't freeze; I'm about 10 miles from an airport and they come over really low sometimes even this far out.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
While it's more likely goose faeces don't discount the possibility of a few bro's taking up a rented 172 for a joy ride and tossing their shit out the door.
John Holmes Motherfucker
>>The not being frozen part is the real giveaway to me, unless the plane was flying low so they could hit their target more easily.
Do we know for sure that it wasn't frozen? If a whole lot of shit is falling from the sky, is your first thought to check and see if it's frozen? Would you be able to tell by looking at it? How would you check?
>>the waste should have been frozen into fist-sized chunks of turd-hail,
I'm looking at my fist right now. If anything this size comes out of your ass, Homer, it makes me wonder what you've been putting up there.
You really need this to be airplane shit, don't you, Mr Holmes?
Face it, John; it's probably goose shit, not something you can save this girl from. Geese poop out over two pounds of waste a day, similar in mass to your typical human's daily shit quota, and even the average human turd is bigger, by volume, than a fist. Maybe not as wide (unless you're passing a Type 6 on the Bristol Scale), but certainly bigger; in some case, you may even be shitting out enough fecal matter to rival the size of your arm!
Of course, as an old man with bowel problems, your own results may vary.
As for it being frozen or not, I think it's pretty easy to tell when something is frozen. If a neighbourhood kid hits you in the face with a water-balloon that's full of ice, do you have to stop and think for a minute, in order to figure out whether the balloon was frozen or not?
Any liquids falling from an airliner are going to turn into what is more-or-less a football sized chunk of hail. Here is just one example of the sort of damage that can do:
If shit-hail can tear a hole through a roof, what do you think it would do a cheap canvas canopy?
|Binro the Heretic |
Aw, man. I feel bad for the kid.
Was Dave Matthews on board?
|Sanest Man Alive |
I injected my sweet sixteen
I injected my sweet sixteen
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
It's difficult, but I really intend to go out of my way to AVOID making a bad pun here, because, after the "chocolate rain" tag, there’s nothing you can say that could make this any better. EXCEPT that they somehow caught the perp or perps. As amusing and POEworthy as this is. I'd really like to see somebody punished, because this is some serious malice and/or negligence here. Fuck these assholes.
Damn it! So close!
>> I'd really like to see somebody punished, because this is some serious malice and/or negligence here.
Of course John Holmes leaps to the rescue. This is a 16 year-old girl.
AND WHAT SHOULD THE PUNISHMENT BE, JOHN? Is life imprisonment enough, or has Yon Lady's honor been so sullied that only death can set aright the crime?
So let me get this straight... you're saying that unless we throw a bunch of Canadian geese in prison, then next thing you know, there's going to be people pissing on cars, and horror of horrors, Big Brother might not be able to ban vomiting.
Wow, you sure convinced me, John. Quick, go call the FBI and snitch on those bastard-ass terrorist geese! Better hurry, because otherwise the geese might make it across the border, and THEN what will we do?!
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
Well, when I started this, I hadn't seen the geese theory. I'm still not convinced. It may well be that someone in the FAA decided that it's easier to tell people that it's geese than to send a specimen to Quantico for DNA analysis and start the investigation.
But that's more than I can know. Of course, none of this applies if it's geese.
>>Is life imprisonment enough, or has Yon Lady's honor been so sullied that only death can set aright the crime?
If it's geese, I'm perfectly fine with the death penalty.
Well, of course YOU'RE not convinced! This is a case that can only be cracked by the police! The internet police! Call 'em up and report one case of Aggravated Pooping. The underage girl needs you, so make it quick, chop chop.
>>If it's geese, I'm perfectly fine with the death penalty.
If it's geese, then they were just doing what they do naturally. You want to flat-out murder an animal, not because you want to eat it, not because there's a pressing ecological need to cull their numbers, hell not even for sport, but instead MERELY because it went to the bathroom?!
God, I know you're willing to do some monstrous things on behalf of women a quarter your age, but this is a new low, even for you!
"we flushed a go-pro down an airplane toilet" - next week on click hole
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
No wonder that woman is down in the dumps.
| Register or login To Post a Comment|