If only the anti-police hat was as effective as antivenom...

Ah, the clusterfuck that is my home county.

This video taught me that hats are the most powerful thing in the world. That a hat can completely destroy a civilization. When you think about it, it makes sense. Why did the North win the Civil War? Lincoln's impressive hat. Why is the Pope so powerful? The amazing hat he wears. We all owe it to ourselves to improve our own lives by wooing and courting the best hats possible.

Might be worth dusting off the "why we can't have nice things" tag for this.

what an excruciating situation