If I eat this I WON'T SURVIVE!

Yeah I was listening to one of his specials.. he was getting his makeup done for something and the makeup person was also doing work for a KFC commercial, and how a guy who worked for KFC marketing loved the big bowl thing, something along those lines, and went on to mention how they're testing all these other products (including the SUPER DRUMSTICK) in small KFCs mostly in the midwest.. maybe I've got the story a little off but they're marketing off of the fact that their food's bad for you, kind of like how Jack in the Box markets to stoners every which way they can besides just saying that you're high as fuck and it's 3 in the morning, where are your munchies.

The new American campaign is weird too, if you've seen it. Darrel Hammond (remember him?) portrays the Colonel himself, actually really well. Nothing evil about it (except for the chicken part, sorry carnivores) and is better than those Popeyes commercials where they tried to cater to white folks with the most intentionally racist advertising possible (HEY EVERYONE COME DOWN TO POPEYES WHERE NOBODY IS BLACK) but they have this air of Southern Pride (or Southern Mockery) which is kinda in the news right now.

Patton Oswalt rags on KFC, famous for serving junk food literally in buckets, for serving food in a bowl.

Nobody is a pure carnivore. Humans are still natural omnivores. You must seriously be retarded if you think there are actual people out there that shun vegetables.

Maybe because they're trying to be edgier-than-thou, but nobody has a _real_ dietary philosophy based on it.

Holy shit! I didnt realize that was Hammond!

Well, it is kind of a mix of two languages, hey just like this thing! Plus it's a million times better than the Cake cover everybody knows, and probably healthier than most kinds of cake.

and by "everybody knows" I mean "every douchenozzle at the bar that plays that song on the goddamn jukebox" and doesn't know the words Gloria Gaynor.

We are opening doors to other cultures and shoving our fatty, diabetes laden food inside them.

Yeah, people shouldn't act like this is a new abomination. Chicken parmesan has been a well-established abomination for ages.

CHIZZA

No, but i bet you can get it in a colostamy bag