|The Mothership |
Here in Texas, we take little dainty girly bites of our machine gun bacon. CAUSE THAT'S HOW WE ROLL.
blue vein steel
Here in Texas, us Real Americans don't know what a machine gun is.
Clearly, you've never seen me (a girl) eat bacon.
Teener Tot, you come holler at me, I would love to eat bacon with you sometime. CAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL.
All the biggest bacon eaters I've know have been women. One woman I knew ran a monthly bacon club. someone made a life size human head out of bacon for it one time.
The last apartment I had in Boston I moved in to her old room when she got married.
It took me two full days to clean the hardened bacon grease off the kitchen walls.
Seems horribly impractical. Why not cook a whole bunch off the engine of a Hummer?
That is not good for your weap... oh my god I'm one of those people.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
I have no ideas on how to fix America. But I'm not going to reduce myself to ridiculous stunts for voters attention. And now, a ridiculous stunt for voters attention!
|infinite zest |
Damnit Cruz, this is political suicide. Remember when Dukakis was in the tank and silly picture was enough to make more undecideds turn to Bush? This is that picture times a million. It's cool with me if you like and respect your right to bear arms, but there were two recent shootings, one of which was probably racially motivated and the other one random in a movie theatre. So no matter what it's in bad taste to do something like this right now, even though the bacon looks like it tastes good.
I think you are overestimating the 21st century American voter.
blue vein steel
IZ, you do realize that Donald Trump is the Republican frontrunner right?
Yeah I was going to go on and say that The Donald is being praised for not "sticking to the rap" and things like that, and wonder if that's what Cruz is trying to do here, in a very scripted but horribly timed way.
I'm visiting family this week. I told my father yesterday that if Trump wins the primary I'll bet on him to win the election.
And this is so obviously a staged photo-op that it loses what little credibility it might have for some weird demographic.
At least wrap the bacon onto the gun-you-don't-own-anyhow yourself, you dweeb.
I skimmed the title and expected a machine gun made out of bacon.
Patent it before Brian Harrod steals it! Everybody gets hungry after a gun fight I'd imagine, and you can literally eat the evidence! The perfect crime!
I GOT BACON ON MY SURROGATE PENIS!!!! YEEE HAAWWW
|blue vein steel |
"Simpering court eunuch" is the character type that i think best defines Ted Cruz
This really bothers me on multiple levels.
Now fire cocktail sausages out of a revolver
Even worse because cooking bacon with a gun was a youtube fad that is almost half a year old already.
5 for lame
I'm actually surprised that any politician, much less a republican, is aware of an Internet fad that's only 6 months old. Hell I wouldn't have been surprised to see him to the Harlem Shake.
He looks like Dave Vanian's overweight brother.
|Binro the Heretic |
A gun is not a toy...or a toaster oven.
Holding that gun isn't going to get rid of your closeted gay persona, Ted.
It just proves you love eating off something long, hard, and black.
TASTES LIKE FREEDOM
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