What the fuck?
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
Oh Jesus won't you come back and rid the world of these fuckers already?
|Void 71 |
This is about as close to The Onion that real life has ever gotten.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
This is a fantastic find. I've been obsessed with Jim Bakker recently. He is truly a shitstain among media shitstains.
I was going to say that at least he looks better as an old man; he's shed that creepy pedo vibe that just oozed from him in the 1980s.
http://www.peoplequiz.com/images/bios/jim-bakker.jpg-2831.jpg< br />
I WAS going to say that, but then I found a photo of him smiling.
Dear God, he looks like some sort of half-man, half-thing-that-lives-in-the-Mariana-Trench.
|Crunchy Frog |
100+ years ago, Bakker would have been selling bottles of miracle cure-all out of the back of his wagon to support his traveling preaching show. The FDA doesn't look too kindly on that sort of thing now. So instead, people like him sell miracle foods and nutritional supplements. Those have little or no regulations in the USA.
|Hugo Gorilla |
Nice heaping servings of soup and pudding as everyone else gets raptured up to heaven. That's a nice trade-off.
Yes, because while there will be terrible food shortages and famines, there will be plenty of clean drinking water for your dehydrated slop.
|Crab Mentality |
I've told my friends over and over again. When the world ends, we all get together, swap car doors and panels, get our all-leather outfits together, and kill a man for a drop of the guzzoline.
There is a sort of person, who, finding themselves watching the unspeakable horror of the end times from within an impenetrable glass fortress after having finished a meal would ask: "well, where is dessert?".
Even better when you watch the prequel beforehand.
I don't trust soups on the whole, no more than I trust stews.
|Caminante Nocturno |
You don't need the End Times as an excuse to eat slop out of a plastic bucket like some kind of idiot from a Mel Brooks movie.
He basically started back up after prison as a Christian Prepper source, couched as "donations." Then when the cash rolled in, he's been inviting guests from the fringiest fringe to ramp up the fear and push more product. RWW also has his finest work on the Dessert package.
"Creamy Potato Soup Bulk Bucket" sounds like a new menu item for a low end American chain restaurant...maybe KFC if we can add some popcorn chicken and cheese to it.
I see less people looking at this bulk bucket of food as a means to survive the apocalypse and more "Well, know what I'm buying for the next Superbowl party!"
|infinite zest |
Maybe this is a dumb question because I've never worked in a kitchen, but a bucket, sealed or not, doesn't preserve any sort of food the way a can does without refrigeration, right? Especially not something with dairy in it?
I don't know which one would be worse, meeting my demise running for my life against hoarding marauders, or getting food poisoning..
Isn't this an open admission that he doesn't expect his followers to be taken away during the Rapture?
Is it even possible to parody this? If I didn't know who Jim Bakker and Rightwingwatch.org was and I saw this, I would have just written it off as some The Onion-style satire video without a second thought.
I can barely believe what I'm seeing isn't some elaborate joke.
| Register or login To Post a Comment|