There's a part of me that desperately wants to know what Chris Chan's initial reaction to this video was.
Isn't that sad.
She's been raging on Facebook and on Gamestop employees IRL. It's not the same as Youtube videos and having her own Wiki, but she's still doing her thing.
"This place is the closest thing I have to a social life." -gravelstudios
I must be in the target market as I never heard about this.
Actually, everyone in the Sonic cast is disabled.
Tails: Has freakish second tail, no small intestine.
Dr. Eggman: Bald.
Amy Rose: Allergic to water.
Rouge the Bat: Born in Connecticut.
Knuckles: Doesn't chuckle.
Mario: No blast processing.
Shadow the Hedgehog: Did not ask for this.
Marine the Raccoon: Incapable of love.
Flip the Panda: I made him up but admit you weren't sure for a moment.
Flip the Panda sounds more like its own game than a character.
Rouge the Bat was born in Connecticut?! Which part? It'd be awesome if Rouge was born in the same town as I was.
Who is Marine the Raccoon? Did you make him up, too?
Marine was in one Sonic game, on the Gameboy or something. She is a pirate from Australia, and she is just awful, even by Sonic standards. I don't blame you if you don't believe me. I suppose you can always google her for proof, but since she's a Sonic character be sure to turn Safe Search all the way up to 11.
Other than the Virtual Boy I'd say Nintendo's biggest mistake was choosing not to include a blast processor in the Super Nintendo. The Sega Genesis had one and was released three years before the SNES.
Wow, I found Marine, she's got her own Sonic wiki page and everything! She is quite possibly even more stupid than Francine StripeCheer, which is saying a lot.
Cena - I wish I had saved the video, but the RLM guys were making fun of blast processing on their vidya games show, Previously Recorded.
They were right to do so. Blast processing was a dumb marketing gimmick.
At least Marine was original. That new one Stix from the blarms games looks too much like her.
Who are the RLM guys? What's RLM mean? Either they are dumbasses for buying into the old Nintendo propaganda. Those lies were carried on by Nintendo nerds who were butthurt about owning the inferior console.
Red Letter Media. The Plinkett/ "Star Wars Stroke Guy" guys. Previously Recorded is a secondary channel, dedicated to video games, and run by Rich (the live-action Plinkett from Half in the Bag) and AIDSMoby (the bald dude who usually does Best of the Worst).
Nintendo didn't need propaganda; they had the superior system, which is why they won in the end, and why SEGA is now nothing more than an imprint, used to publish Nintendo's Sonic the Hedgehog games and other embarrassing crap that Nintendo Proper would never be caught dead handling.
Sega failed because they didn't have enough faith in blast processing alone. Their lack of faith led them to develop bombs like the 32X.
But as far as the 16 bit war is concerned, Nintendo sold slightly more, but considering the uphill battle Sega fought, I'd definitely call Sega the winner.
Yeah, the uphill battle they fought against their crap hardware and shitty games. SEGA's marketing team is to be commended; it's a miracle they sold as many lemons as they did.
Nintendo's hardware was so behind they had to create the FX chip just to keep up with the blast processing capabilities of the Genesis.
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of my 64kb, 8 channel sound.
The SNES had twice the RAM, twice the resolution, almost double the sprite sizes and amounts, four times the simultaneous color capacity, sixty-four (64!) times the total color capabilities, and of course, eight buttons on its controller, as opposed to four on the Genesux (which was tied with the previous-gen NES). Don't even get me started on the gorgeous parallax scrolling or the Nintendo Seal of Quality!
Oh you left out a spec... PROCESSING! Genesis 7.6 MHz vs Nintendo's tiny 2.68 MHz . That's what really mattered. That was the difference between Sonic's blazing speed and Mario's waddle.
So what? Processing means crap-all; it's what you can DO with the processing that counts, and the SNES could handle sooo much more than the Genebabysister.
It's like the difference between a new 2.4GHz quad core CPU and an old 3.2GHz single. Sure, the 3.2 has a higher clock rate, but it's still nowhere near as good.
Oh, and the RLM guys addressed Sonic's so-called "speed", too. SPOILER WARNINGS: it's a dumb gimmick that isn;t integrated into the game and actually ruins the gameplay!
Sonic does this, both by making it impossible to complete certain sections of the game at high speeds, and by removing player agency in others, trading actual engaging gameplay away in favor of "cool" looking bullshit sequences.
Watch it and weep, Cena the Hedgehog.
Two dorks don't like it. Even if they don't like the game, it doesn't make the Genesis hardware inferior.
Two grown men pretending to suck at Sonic to say its bad. I'm not convinced.
They're not dorks, they're geeks and also nerds. That's a big difference!
Sexy Duck Cop
Previously Recorded is a huge letdown. All their other stuff is so lively and feels unscripted, even if it obviously is. PR just feels stilted, slow, and half-assed.
homer and cena, get a fucking room for christ sakes.
Don't listen to scrimmjob! *throws money at them* Ass to ass! Ass to ass!
|Tough American Bouncer |
Both beautiful and moving.
|Seven Arts/H8 Red |
It's not that progressive. She's obsessed with collecting rings and jewels. Does she need to be that OCD and materialistic?
|Sexy Duck Cop |
This really needs a "Wow" tag.
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