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Comment count is 22
Killer Joe - 2016-05-14

Goddamn, I love slow-motion-super-compliant-non-struggling-student bullshit like this.

urbanelf - 2016-05-14

Sounds like "killer" joe is butt-hurt from trying to attack a ninja with two of his friends.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2016-05-15

This reminds me of the part in the Bible where God commands Moses to attack a ninja with two of his friends. The ninja slowly pushes Moses and his friends over so he can sit on them, and God is mightily pleased.

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-05-14

Goddamn those ninjers and their ninjitsus!

Old_Zircon - 2016-05-14

Needs "ninjers" tag bad.

urbanelf - 2016-05-14

I replaced "legit" with "ninjers" for you.

Old_Zircon - 2016-05-15

They're more or less synonyms anyway.

simon666 - 2016-05-14

This reminds me of that Akido video from years ago where the master was throwing students around the mat as if they weighed nearly nothing, and hitting them with 'energy'.

simon666 - 2016-05-14


Old_Zircon - 2016-05-14

The only major difference between this and a furpile is the costumes and repression.

15th - 2016-05-14


memedumpster - 2016-05-15

I kept waiting for Yellow Bamboo to raid their dojo and slaughter them all.

Two Jar Slave - 2016-05-14

I did ninjutsu for about three years and, let me tell you, even if you have a level head, a good attitude, and the best intentions, there's just no avoiding the pseudo-cult aspects of this martial art. I did other Japanese martial arts before, like karate (great for fitness!) and aikido (great for flexibility and happiness!), so I have a stable point of reference. The instructors are creepy and controlling. The "masters" are globetrotting charlatans steeped in bullshit myths they invent about themselves. At some point, someone's going to try to fuck you. Even by the standards of Americanized martial arts, Ninjutsu is in a class of its own as a money-grubbing cult.

The worst part is it doesn't even make you fit or happy.

teethsalad - 2016-05-15

i knew a dude who took ninjer classes for years and whenever we'd "spar" at no point was he ever able to counter basic folkstyle wrestling moves. as soon as I would break his stance, it was over

bujinkan is a long-con for weeaboos and LARPers

Two Jar Slave - 2016-05-15

Yup, this too. At least Aikido and Tai Chi make you feel good--ninjutsu is borderline useless as a self-defence and promotes hostility, arrogance, and paranoia.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2016-05-15

Generally, there's a direct correlation between how steeped in mysticism a martial art is and how much creepy cultlike bullshit seeps in. Sport-oriented arts--boxing, wrestling, BJJ, Muay Thai--involve real training with real athletes. Your coach beats you up, and sometimes you beat your coach up. It's human. It's real. There's no room for fantasy or unearned egotism. And the actual physical activity it requires releases endorphins, putting everyone in a generally pleasant mood.

Stuff like this may as well be D&D, with the social skills to match. Your sensei/sifu is just a dungeon master, rolling the dice and contriving fantastical scenarios.

teethsalad - 2016-05-17

speaking of hostility, arrogance, and paranoia, at one point they got wind that this guy had showed me a few basics from the class, got all bent out of shape, and demanded that I go down and talk to them. i didn't.

bujinkan is the worst

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2016-05-14

Isnt krav maga the no-bullshit, just *hurt* people martial art?

glasseye - 2016-05-15

Depends hugely on the instructor, but yeah.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2016-05-15

There are some good Krav Maga schools out there, but in general, a lot of those "no bullshit" Reality-Based Self Defense (RBSD) schools are every bit as ridiculous as their mystical, psuedo-Oriental brethren. A lot of them get way too excited about hyperviolent Mortal Kombat Meets Story Of Ricky techniques that are virtually impossible to train. Instead of "A guy grabs my lapel and I do a ridiculously complicated wrist lock on him", it's "a guy grabs my lapel and I tear his throat out with my bare hands".

Either way, the move is unworkable in real life, so you can't spar with it and have to rely entirely on the power of your imagination. It encourages the same cultist mentality (a shocking number of these instructors pull the "I was a Navy SEAL and a Green Beret" card) and is functionally no better than the pro-bullshit arts.

15th - 2016-05-14

This guy has a great imagination. "I took all three knives." You sure did.

Jet Bin Fever - 2016-05-15

Only works against manly hugs.

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