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Desc:Pretty good longevity for the object of one man's bondage fetish
Category:Fashion, Advertisements
Tags:DC, Wonder Woman, dc comics, suggest a tag
Submitted:Pillager
Date:07/17/16
Views:616
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Comment count is 22
SolRo
You call tell when it hits the very late 80s-90s without looking at the numbers.

wtf happened in the aughts though
Xenocide
Nearly all the ones they used for the aughts are alternate-universe Wonder Women.

Not 2010, though. 2010 was just a clusterfuck.

Bort
At 0:26, that's Wonder Woman three times, plus her mom Hippolyta. Through the magic of Amazonian magic, Wonder Woman used to team up with younger versions of herself to go on adventures.

So when the geniuses in the next room decided to create a "Teen Titans" comic with all the sidekicks (Robin, Kid Flash, etc), they included Wonder Woman's "sidekick" Wonder Girl, meaning Wonder Woman's younger self has officially split off into a whole new character. Scientists will account for all the missing mass in the universe before DC comes up with a really good answer who Wonder Girl is.
Xenocide
There have literally been entire comics called "Who is Wonder Girl?" which fail to answer that question.

Bort
Never has a simple matter like a secret origin been so difficult, and yet, I kind of get it: you want a secret origin to say something about the character, but I don't know what to say about her other than "she has Wonder Woman's powers and in the old cartoon she looked like Aubrey Plaza".

If DC hired me to fix her, I'd say she was found by Amazons sitting next to a broken jug of Lethe water; they raised her and it turned out she already had Amazon powers. THEN LEAVE IT AT THAT. No building a backstory where she was a sickly Canadian kid.

memedumpster
Wow, the postmodern divide hit Wonder Woman like a truck.
Xenocide
Suddenly all I want to do is submit to female dominance and invest in lie detectors.
Hooker
And now it's a 90 lbs woman with no screen presence whatsoever.
SolRo
If the writers/producers/directors/everyone for the current DC movies weren't complete and total hacks they'd have gotten Beyoncé to play wonder woman (with some extra muscle building) and then rake in all the free advertising as the racists fliped their tits all over the internet and fox news.

EvilHomer
Why not double down and cast Samuel L Jackson as Wonder Woman? Or better yet, Adam Sandler.

Bort
A few years back, Internet perverts were going nuts over a track and field athlete named Allison Stokke. No idea whether she can act, but physically I think she'd be about perfect for the part; she even looks Mediterranean.

EvilHomer
Oh God, yes.

Didn't she commit suicide, though?

Bort
She seems to be very much alive and is even a sportswear model.

EvilHomer
Well, I'll be damned! I'd heard, or at least thought I'd heard, that the Internet perverts had driven her to PTSD and suicide. I assumed she'd joined the long list of "minor internet celebrities whose lives were ruined by the experience" - alongside such greats as Star Wars Kid, Courtney Stodden, Alicia the WifeSwap Girl, Edarem, JustinRPG, Trigglypuff, AIDS Skrillex, Still-Real-To-Me-Dammit, Nick Bravo, Cracky-chan, and Jessi Slaughter - but it's nice to see Miss Stokke rose to the challenge life put before her.

I'd still like to see Adam Sandler cast as Wonder Woman, or at least the very least Ben Stiller, but Allison would do nicely.

Bort
I just watched an old "Have Gun - Will Travel" where Robert Blake played a Mexican peasant. Ah, the good old days when you could put some dark makeup on a white guy and teach him to say "look at all these moneys I have found, senor!"

Incidentally, Robert Blake's son is that badass hiphop guy in the "Top That" clip.

Bort
... found a clip with Robert Blake as a Mexican AND Hal Needham as Gerald Ford! (the third stunt)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABYLCLgFcbE

Bobonne
Honestly, if they were going for a raceswap controversyfest, one of the Williams sisters would've been a better choice than Beyonce.

EvilHomer
Tyler Perry.

Pillager
Gwendoline Christie. Big & scary

Since they settled for a model, actual acting skill doesn't matter.

SolRo
I said Beyoncé because of 'These four things REALLY piss off republicans!!!'

1) she's black

2) she's got the body to play a strong looking woman

3) she has made songs about women's pride (which fits well with wonder woman)

4) she has made songs about black pride (+3 aneurysms)

Sanest Man Alive
Why does Wonder Woman need a sword, anyway? Isn't she already super strong and tough?

Might as well give Superman a machinegun (again)
DriverStabby
All of them terribly el stoopo.
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