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Desc:Squeezable pink and blue butter substitute. The early aughts were full of great ideas
Category:Horror, Advertisements
Tags:butter, 2000s, i cant believe its not butter, parkay, early aughts
Submitted:Cena_mark
Date:11/03/16
Views:710
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Comment count is 25
chumbucket
Disclaimer: not invented nor developed by kids.
cognitivedissonance
The history of margarine is fascinating. Napoleon III instituted a contest where he would financially reward and indict into the nobility anybody who could invent a butter substitute for the poor, in order to prevent rioting. Originally it was made of beef tallow. It has no color itself, so it would come dyed yellow. When it hit America, we used corn oil, and rent seeking activities on the behalf of dairy requires laws that forbade the dying of margarine, to make it less appetizing. Stores stocked dye pills for free as a service. The anti-dye laws were on the books until the 60s. The corn lobby paid for a lot of studies to discredit the health value of butter, and between the 80s and the early Naughtes, butter was painted as a villain. On every other country besides America, margarine is considered extremely unhealthy.
Old_Zircon
Kind of like how they sold CDs here vs. everywhere else. For the rest of the world, CDs were an upgrade to cassette, maybe not as durable but more convenient and technically superior. You'd listen to CDs in your car and maybe certain classical types would listen to them exclusively at home because of the early adoption of digital audio by the classical world, but it wasn't until the 90s that they really started to be seen as a replacement for records, which were more robust and arguably higher resolution.


In the USA, CDs were "Perfect Sound Forever" and you had commercials with people just grabbing them like a frisbee and shoving them in to the player like they were something other than the least durable consumer format since 8 track (if not more so).

Old_Zircon
Which is part of the reason the best surviving record plants tend to be in or near Germany and the UK.

Kid Fenris
How were CDs less durable than cassettes? I remember cassettes wearing out if you played them too much. Players also ate them every now and then.

Potrod
Now that trans fats have been identified as terrible for you, I think it's fairly widely known in the US that margarine is unhealthy. I do remember it almost sounding like "diet butter" when I was a kid, though.

Cena_mark
I always felt that CDs were more durable than cassettes and vinyl. Vinyl gets worn out and scratched up.

boner
margarine was always associated with poor people where i grew up, end of story. nobody actually wanted to eat that shit.

Old_Zircon
Tapes and tape players are really robust. Clean off you pinch roller every so often, don't leave them in the sun, and you're fine. CDs will skip if you look at them wrong, and their entire EXTREMELY FRAGILE play surface is completely exposed, as is the almost invisibly thin reflective foil that they need to be playable.If you toss a loose cassette in the back seat for a month it'll be fine. Try that with a CD.

Also a lot of the bad rap they got for sound quality was because of the relatively low quality tape and extremely high speed duplication that was used for commercial releases. You can make a cassette sound really good.

Mist scratches on CDs are unrepairable. Vinyl wears but most scratches and wear are superficial and can be worked around by changing the diameter of your needle. Once data is damaged on a CD it is gone forever.

Vinyl is easier to damage superficially but it's more robust. CDs are more all-or-nothing.

They all have their place, but I'd take a cassette over a CD for use in a car any day, and I'd take a record over a CD for home listening.

EvilHomer
The fuck kind of file format is .cd and .8track?

EvilHomer
I'm guessing that is what Zunes used back in the olden days.

memedumpster
I wish I had a talking Encyclopedia Cognidissona to say random things to me about things I never know to ask about.

And actually, most CD scratches never reach the data and are repairable if you use jewelers wax, a soft buffing wheel, and a quarter horsepower grinder. Only when you can see light through the disc is it done, since that is a hole through the thin foil the data is imprinted on (PCM encoded, GROSSLY inferior to vinyl), as opposed to the coating. If you do have a hole all the way through, you can then use the grinder to launch the CD to Mars, or through a person or armored car.

Homie, the best format is .atoms or .gravity.

cognitivedissonance
I'd love to write a book about the racial politics of bread through the ages. The trend away from white bread in the last generation is intrinsically tied to the trend against vaccination. It's a complicated theory, but as white bread became commonplace across racial lines, white America rejected it, because serving "common" food is for browns. Similarly, the same vaccines given to the brown children must be bad, because little Skyeler and Dakota are much too special and important for the same thing given to Shaneequa and Dushane.

baleen
Don't forget that it was also one of the only methods, along with Velveeta and other isolated dairy solids starting in the 1920s, to deliver "dairy-ish" products to the deep rural South when there was no air conditioning or freezers to keep things fresh. That's how a lot of this crap came to be associated with "traditional" cuisine in many poorer parts of America.

I don't think margarine is as bad as everybody says it is, but people of course eat way too much of it, which makes it bad. I don't think drinking 28g of pure sugar in a can is good either, but sometimes you want a coke, and you drink it, and you live. They're figuring out ways to create those same buttery textures while avoiding the creation of trans fats though, so the new margarines will be called something else, probably something more wholesome. I don't think it's necessarily bad to make butter-like stuff out of non-animal oils, we've just been doing it wrong.

EvilHomer
Going off what Cog was just saying: it's good policy, too, because usually the stuff corporate America wants to give to common people is designed to kill them. If you want to keep your kids away from dysgenics, you need to pay the premium.

Oscar Wildcat
All kidding aside, I've gotten good results removing scratches from CD's using plexiglas polish and soft cloth. Toothpaste in a pinch. Margarine would be worthless. I'll never go back to vinyl, Zirc. Never.

Old_Zircon
I hope everyone is psyched for the millenium revival, only 3 or 4 years tops.
Born in the RSR
I'm looking forward to the web 1.0 revival. I'm sure there's going to be people buying up old electronics and makin angelfire and geocities pages for nostalgia value. Using AIM or Trillian or even Yahoo messenger(which I was using on a regular basis up until like 2012)


Speaking of nostalgic revivals, nothing beats the GDR nostalgic revival they had on German TV in the early 00s, that shit was the bomb!

memedumpster
I got my Mindless Self Indulgence tee shirts all ready to go!

Xenocide
9/11 nostalgia is going to be huge!

Maggot Brain
Colored condiments were all the rage in the early 00's. Do they still make green ketchup?
EvilHomer
Not sure if they still make it, but I saw a couple preserved bottles at a friend's house not long ago.

The Mothership
Don't forget magic shell.

Xenocide
I think you mean SHREKETCHUP

Caminante Nocturno
No parent would ever approve of margarine that wasn't yellow, that's why we have to do this kind of research off-site and off the books. That means no public scrutiny and no regulations, so corners are cut and lines are crossed.

That grossed-out mother at 0:16 did not survive exposure to the green Fun Spread. It was the Helvetica Scenario tenfold.
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