This had me at hand-holes.

I feel vulnerable enough sleeping in public, I don't want something that would make being jacked even easier.

Squid heads, squid heads, we are the squid heads.

I went to the website...

This thing cost $99.99 plus shipping...

And it's sold out...

...............

Yeah, five stars.

This has been popping up on TV shows lately. I can't tell if it's mockery or product placement.

It reminded me of the deleted scene from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" where Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) gets a cartoon pig head shoved onto his own head and you can see his mouth inside the pig's mouth.

could use 'load screen' tag

These guys have the right idea, though I think they're going for the gimmick rather than the easiest solution. When I sleep, I use a small fleece blanket for covering my head and eyes; keeps my head warm (thus no headaches) and it blocks the light. It also serves as padding. The Ostrich Pillow seems designed to solve all those problems, so good for them; but a $5 fleece blanket does the trick.

Also, fleece ninja hoods are delightful during chilly months:

http://www.hotheadz.net/polarex-6in1-fleece-ho61.html