Yup, Alabama is a Hell of a state.

Didn't you know? America isn't there anymore. We did our job there. Nothing newsworthy happens there. Wouldn't you rather get back to staring vacantly at a screen like the pre-9/11 days, with the latest story on Brit--

THIS IS WHY I'M SO FUCKING SICK WITH BEING A COMMUNICATIONS/JOURNALISM MAJOR.

Seriously, every goddamn day, it's shit like this that isn't on TV that I realize I wasted thousands of dollars and years of my life thinking I could bring things like this to the public eye, "J. Q. Publick," to maybe make them think globally.

BUT FUCKING NO. I don't even turn the fucking TV on anymore. Nobody should. I'd pick the big blocky piece of shit up and shove it in my Civic, then kick it out on the side of a backstreet and speed off with screeching tires if the worthless piece of junk didn't interface with my DVD player so often.