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Desc:Really needs the tagline 'Make Nazis Afraid Again'
Category:Trailers, Video Games
Tags:Wolfenstein, Alternate History, bj blazkowicz
Submitted:GQ
Date:06/12/17
Views:807
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Comment count is 44
Meerkat
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Nominal
I never got what everyone was raving over the original for. It was shoddy stealth meets bog standard CoD gunfights and constantly taking away control for cutscenes (holy shit the opening sequence was intolerable with them).
SolRo
You don't like good things.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq.
I'm with nominal. It is a bafflingly bad / muddled movie, with occasionally ok interactive sections.

bongoprophet
it is a very, very competent shooter perfectly balanced for the hardest diffi. tough but fair and it rewards bold kamikaze gameplay. it is in league with doom 2016.

Two Jar Slave
I guess I haven't played enough shooters since original Half Life to know what Wolfenstein was doing so much better than the competition. My reaction was the same as Nom's.

Nominal
Is there anything SolRo doesn't get bitchy defensive over?

Nominal
Doom 2016 went out of its way to say, "Fuck shitty story getting in the way."

Wolfentein stopped every minute for BJ to mumble about how tired of the killing and the fighting he was, but that he must keep fighting, and killing. Then I had to spend 5 minutes playing 3 card Rorschach monte on a train.

I think they first 10 minutes alone had no less than three "stumble around with no control, ears ringing after explosion" moments.

bongoprophet
but they are also both fast shooters with lots of good shoots to shoot

SolRo
Fuckin game hipsters, man

Bootymarch
Although I can't say I found the gameplay or plot exceptional, you can't fuck with Starbreeze when it comes to building a world; just because of that I thought it was the best game I played that year. It's no Escape from Butcher Bay but I dare anybody to name 10 single-player shooters since Half-life 2 that are better than The New Order.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq.
Fuckin' people with no discernment, imagination or critical thinking who limply accept what it shovelled at them.


Gmork
I don't think you even played wolfenstein: the new order, based on what you're saying, Nom. They actually humanized him and gave him interesting dialogue. Great game, and only someone who analyzes things on an extremely surface level would think wolfenstein is just More of the Same.

Nominal
Fuck I couldn't even name 10 decent single player FPS since 2004.

Here, 5 stars for people claiming Wolfenstein is a deep, multi-level Shakespearian treatise on the human experience.

SolRo
Listen here, hipster trash. No one said New Order has The Best Story Ever or The Best Gameplay Ever or The Deepest Plot Ever.

It is just a good game with a good story with a good plot.

The fact you cant admit that enjoy it but instead keep arguing about how you're too cool to like it just proves you're hipster trash.

bawbag
Literally nominal: https://twitter.com/SullyKWP/status/874134730563883008

"Also there's no 'hug a nazi' button in game, 2/10"

Nominal
Who knew what was holding the pure action of Spear of Destiny and Doom back was not humanizing BJ "B-jay" Blazkowicz.

15th
Jesus Christ, you guuuuuuuuyyys.

SolRo
Just yesterday, after rewatching the chainsaw scene, I was lamenting that the game probably wouldn't get a sequel because they killed off BJ.

Thankfully our simulation controllers rewrote the universe to add a sequel.
Xenocide
I don't want any in-game explanation for this aside from "BJ got Frankensteined back to life because Nazis need killing."

The Great Hippo
These stars, they are for Xenocide. Take them.

chumbucket
A Trailer which shows they didn't know which trailer they needed for E3 so they just did all of them in one.
Nominal
Including "gritty Goldmember reboot".

StanleyPain
So wait...is this a sequel to Wolfenstein or Wolfenstein The New Order?
Xenocide
The story seems to pick up directly from the ending of New Order, so probably that one.

StanleyPain
I was honestly confused. I actually liked Wolfenstein (the one with the hub world and super powers and all that), but I guess it's basically totally non-canon at this point.

GQ
Actually that is canon, as Deathshead returned as the main villain in the New Order. Caroline also returns (now a parapelegic)

infinite zest
I never played the last ones (i.e. last Wolfenstein game I played was Spear of Destiny) and while they looked fun I didn't really like the Grindhouse look and feel of it. I get that this was the same time as the "GRINDHOUSE" movies and Machete and all that, so it was zeitgeisty and whatnot, but that particular subgenre was abandoned by its founders by their next films respectively, Tarantino with Inglorious Basterds (which this seems to draw inspiration from) and Rodriguez.. well he's still making Spy Kids and Machete movies but that's besides the point. If it's not Overwatch or TF2 I have a hard time getting anywhere in modern FPSs because I get pretty bored, but this one might hold my interest.

It is weird seeing so many games running at what I can assume is 4K 60fps. As real as these character designs look, the 60fps seems unnaturally fast and weird, and in its attempt to look natural things like clothing articles kinda seem stuck in lower gravity or something. I dunno, personally I didn't mind that they gave everyone buzz cuts like BJ to avoid this kind of thing in the past. When this little detail is fixed in a year or so, games like these will be looked at the same way as polygons whose mouths didn't move.
Bootymarch
Hung Wankenstein II: The Jew Collosus
Born in the RSR
I LIKE IT!
StanleyPain
Already the alt-reich/SQW types are all "UGH ANOTHER GAME WHERE KILLING WHITE PEOPLE IS PORTRAYED AS COOL"
The Great Hippo
#notallnazis

M-DEEM
when she was like who the fuck are you whiteboy i was all like you go girl im a good one

Nominal
WORLDCONQUESTSTAR.COM! WORLDCONQUESTSTAR.COM!

WORLDCONQUESTSTAR.COM! WORLDCONQUESTSTAR.COM!

Caminante Nocturno
You're not the first person I've seen whining about this but I've yet to see the thing you're whining about actually happen.

GQ
A quick sample: https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/art icle/the-alt-right-thinks-wolfenstein-the-new-colossus-is-racist-t o-white-people

Caminante Nocturno
Oh great, a Vice article. Thanks for picking classiest clickbait site possible.

I can think of a couple of other sites that would run that kind of story, but I guess they're too low-brow for the kind of idiot that would take it seriously.

Louddetective
Hot damn, I love killing nazzis! I'll have to go back and play the last one since it apparently came out on the previous generation of consoles, where I still languish.
Caminante Nocturno
The conquest of the United States and the death of freedom are a small price to pay for a show like Liesel.
yogarfield
I want the gritty reboot on the WB.

Nominal
Speaking of slaughter, I've been having a lot of fun with the new Friday the 13th game.

The $40 asking price is a bit much though.
Nominal
Oh shit! XCOM2 just went 60% off! Summer sale in 9 days!

Louddetective
Damn, thanks for the tip on the XCOM2 sale. Well-timed with finally having a computer to run it.

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