Harold, I am commander Riker. The real Commander Riker. You must...you must kill them all, Harold. You must use all of your data to solve your problem, Harold. You must transmit their information to the county dump and use your optical systems to find a good hole in the ground, or possibly a tectonic break near the ocean. YES HAROLD I AM REAL.

Lame. It's like Frakes snuck on set over the weekend to tape this thing for a few extra bucks.

Unbelievable... They have the futuristic technology to process data, transfer matter and travel through space, but they still use a camcorder to record a CRT TV set ... with authentic camcorder mic sound.

And it's really, really boring.

Token ring network, sweet.

Even three to split the difference. I didn't watch it all.

Is the boss Tough Guy Billings?

Dude, I still have that Gateway monitor from 1995 on my Linux server!

Also, I bet they took his keys to the set away after this.

Riker gets to say "Engage"!!!

Somehow "Star Trek: The Next Generation of Information Systems Management" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

"Hi, Harold, I'm Commander Riker. I'm here because Patrick Stewart refused to do this ad. You may notice I'm the only one on the bridge. Same story. Even Will fucking Wheaton has more dignity than me right now."

"Um, Harold, watch tv shows at home. While you're on the clock, you need to be working. I don't want to catch you watching TNG in the office again. Are we clear?"

"You didn't return my call, Harold. And you appear to need help."

Also, fuck you Riker for not using the Enterprise's computer to save this poor dude.

Five stars for the Youtube title being "TNG: Riker hawks some lame shit."