Jesus Christ what the fuck

They're also, in my humble opinion, pretty damn gross.

In reality, it tastes like wet cookie crumbs on construction paper.

Hi. I'm new here.

Why is this here?

5 stars for sadly ironic value
-1 star for sadly ironic value

Wait, what the fuck? This is real?

Yes, yes, YES! Now somebody pay a hundred scientists to figure a way to put hot dogs in the oreo-crust!

Call me when there's a peanut butter pizza

I don't understand all the stars. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood or have a temporary humor dysfunction. It's a dumb commercial for a stupid (and not very good) product.

Dinky Patterson - his stay on PoeTV was short, but sweet.

As sweet as the product being advertised here.

Seriously, being from not-U.S., I thought that basically all your food is more or less like this.

If I wanted to watch completely mundane commercials, I'd turn on the TV.

So many people missing the point - the point being the BEARD GROWS

I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.

- 3 for being an evil commercial catering to bovine America.

+ 1 because, as Aeschylus pointed out, the beard does in fact grow.

And on that note all of you are fatties.

To get in on the beardery here: I think some of you are overestimating Dominos a bit, here. Dominos really isn't some pile-on-the-crazy-fattery-to-make-America-a-doomed-place kind of pizza place. Any of you who order from them or live near one or whatever should, even just in casual, know that they're always trying out new ideas for crazy desert/snack stuff in the neverending battle of the pizza companies for crazy desert/snack ideas to throw in with their pizzas, which is more of an indicative example of corporate food places.
But, putting all of that completely aside, it wouldn't matter what burger or pizza places offered; customers would make them as unhealthy and disgusting as is humanly possible to fit their own personal needs. I've known people who've worked at pizza places and they all have stories about how people ask for their stuff to be a made certain way, and usually the way is something at least mildly on the "ew" level. For example, one customer wanting a total of 10 frosting cups for a single order of cinnastix to the point where she gladly paid for the extra frosting. She claimed she used an entire cup per stick. There are more calories in the cup of frosting than the entire serving of cinnastix.
Or people ordering burgers with, say, so much extra cheese that the burger itself was practically the garnish, as opposed to the cheese. America will be fat regardless of the kooky corporate ideas of what makes good food.

Wait, you mean I missed Dinky Pattersonapalooza?

Well, crap.

(seriously, though - the ad is mediocre pseudodadaist nonsense, the product sounds fucking disgusting, and lol poor people are fat yet malnourished at the same time.)

I think it needs more gravy.

5 if only for the grotesque idea of a beard made entirely of dried food. Imagine what that horror smells like.

How come they weren't obese in the ad? Is this even fair marketing?

So, has anybody actually tasted this thing?

My five stars are for this thread.

I feel like I should pay Kthor a nickel every time this site makes me throw up. "Food" and exploding cysts are a great part of my weight loss plan!

HOW DARE OUR PRECIOUS POE-TV TURN INTO FREE ADVERTISING FOR ANCIENT LONG DEAD PRODUCTS!

-1 star for gaining 10 lbs. after watching this ad

i want it it, yet i suspect it's nasty

The commercial was good.

This thread gets 5.