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Desc:Internet knife/sword company Cold Steel promos their zweihander. Take THAT, you crummy car hood!
Category:Advertisements, Military
Tags:zweihander, cold steel, test cutting, sales videos, big ticket items
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Comment count is 33
King of Balls - 2008-05-18

Seems like a straightforward enough business venture, but the clothes and music might confuse the demographic.

Blaise - 2008-05-18

So easy a caveman could do it.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-07-25

I don't know how to smelt steel.

I'm a pretty shitty dwarf.

anvill - 2008-05-18

Watching Stouty McLarpington violate that hood for a full minute made my day.

SharoKham - 2008-05-18

It may improve your day to know that that guy's the president of the company.

notascientist - 2009-08-24

He's also a customer!

Bort - 2011-08-06

He's showing how you could be a hero with this sword. Like, suppose little Johnny has trapped himself in a refrigerator ... time's running out, but with your Zweihander you can poke air holes in that thing in no time.

I know what you're thinking, and you're right, it does mean you'd have to devote your life to patroling junkyards with your Zweihander. But wouldn't you want to be that guy? Driving around in your van (of course you'd have a van), looking for things that need to be stabbed or chopped.

ponpoko - 2008-05-18

He's totally debating whether he should twirl the sword around with a flourish after he cuts the meat.

For additional sword beardo fun, check the youtube comments for the latest news from the frontlines of the ageless katana-broadsword conflict

Camonk - 2008-05-18

I want to see this video!

Also, I think fatty just did that so he could get ready for his barbecue.

zatojones - 2008-05-18

comes ready for battle

petep - 2009-08-09

with a little bit of planning you could probably murder like three people

dueserpenti - 2008-05-18

See his fury as he chops the side of beef?

Doctor Arcane - 2008-05-18

Uh, Cold Steel is a pretty well known knife manufacturer, they also happen to make swords and other shit, but their main business is ka-bar rip offs and such.

SharoKham - 2008-05-18

I updated the description.

Jeff Fries - 2008-05-18

+1 for -0.01

kingarthur - 2008-05-18

What saddens me the most is that there's enough of a market out there for this adolescent power-trip fantasy for these guys to actually see a ROI on this.

AgentOrange - 2008-05-18

Anyone wearing phone book armor is fucked.

mcsancherson - 2008-05-18

needs demoniusx tag for -0:01

Udderdude - 2008-05-18


Black Napkins - 2008-05-18

I bought something from these guys just so I could continue getting the "fat guy cutting meat with a big ass knife to corporate techno music" DVDs.

Unsurprisingly, the knife handles roasts and turkey rather well.

KnowFuture - 2008-05-18

Well of course he has a beard.

oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2008-05-18

Is this the guy who keeps sending Tripp Fisk those letters?

baleen - 2008-05-18

This is actually a dupe believe it or not but it's great.

Chalkdust - 2008-05-19

Hooray! I have a whole DVD of demonstrations from this company. Ah, the things you pick up for free at martial arts conventions. I also got the autograph of the guy who played Sub-Zero in the Mortal Kombat TV series for free!

Soup Nazi was there too, for some reason, selling autographed ladels for .

Vicious - 2008-10-09

My brother bought a knife in some shop in San Francisco and received their "GRAPHIC CONTENT" DVD which consists of them chopping meat, including a denim sleeve stuffed with steaks. It was beautiful.

teethsalad - 2008-05-19

dio - holy diver is god's most perfect soundtrack to this, i suggest you try

Caminante Nocturno - 2009-01-03

This is true.

kingofthenothing - 2009-01-03

I don't know, it's either that or Dokken's "Dream Warriors".

Hooper_X - 2009-01-06

That's exactly what I was thinking - if these guys were actually DRESSED like Dio, I would spend my life's savings to ensure that copies of this video were shot into space to be found by future generations or aliens or some shit.

kingofthenothing - 2009-04-02

It's too bad the video cuts off just before "the vision never diiiiieeeeessss" but the intro to the video and the song synch up pretty nicely.

I stand supremely corrected though. Dokken doesn't hold up.

Caminante Nocturno - 2009-01-03

5 for 'it comes sans scabbard.'

oogaBooga - 2009-04-29

If you're an object don't ever cross me!

petep - 2009-08-09

this sword doesn't give a fuck

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