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Desc:Yahtzee reviews MGS4
Category:Humor, Video Games
Tags:zero punctuation, Yahtzee, Metal Gear
Submitted:Hodge
Date:06/25/08
Views:4077
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Comment count is 58
Pillager
Stonking great!

Yahtzee is at his best when he has a pretentious fanbase to skewer.

If he hates Oblivion, I can't wait to see his reaction to Fallout 3!

chairsforcheap
that was an especially funny one.
takewithfood
Its been a while since one of these made me laugh out loud. I've always fucking hated Metal Gear Solid.
glasseye
I had no idea MGS was so batshit crazy.
FABIO2
Wait till you get to the part about a bisexual vampire who walks on water, resurrects after getting shot in the head, got his powers by drinking the blood from his family's bodies while trapped in an earthquake, and had a sexual relationship with his commanding officer who is also the father of his fag hag squad mate.

Shortly after you learn this, Otacon reveals to his step sister that the reason she almost drowned in the pool as a kid was because he was busy fucking her mom.

FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown
You get that, people: It is not, and never has been well-written.

If you bought a PS3 for this, kill yourself, Rain Man.
dementomstie
This is great, I just wish they didn't put ads on the end of all his reviews now.
Also, I love the Metal Gear games and even I understand that the storyline has gone completely insane after... well, about 5 minutes into the first Playstation game.
Caminante Nocturno
I never got into the Metal Gear games.

Am I lucky?
AgentOrange
No, the first PS one is great.

FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown
"No, the first NES one is great."

Agreed!

RomancingTrain
In the third one there is a guy with beenades and shoots bees from his mouth.

JSP
there are pretty much three schools of thought on the metal gear series: either you are aware of how uneven and demented it is, and love it anyway (or because of that); or you cannot handle any assertion that hideo kojima is anything short of Almighty YHWH himself; or you are caused physical pain by the notion that someone, somewhere, is enjoying themselves playing a video game you're not into, and you may in fact die if you don't remind these people that the video game sucks.

so to answer your question: you are neither lucky nor unlucky. some people like it and some people don't and if you couldn't get into the first PS one, it's not going to be different with the others.

Aubrey McFate
1 and 3 are crazy, but both have decent story structure and usually put the pretentious sermonizing aside. 2 plays well, but is a horrible pretentious mess of a story with only a few stand-out sequences.

That said, I love the gameplay of MGS 2 a lot. It's a shame that it's such a failure in every other way.

So there. An Essential Pack with all three games is about 30 bucks, and I think it's worth it. Try it out first, though.

FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown
"there are pretty much three schools of thought on the metal gear series:

either you are aware of how uneven and demented it is, and love it anyway (or because of that); or you cannot handle any assertion that hideo kojima is anything short of Almighty YHWH himself"

"you are caused physical pain by the notion that someone, somewhere, is enjoying themselves playing a video game you're not into, and you may in fact die if you don't remind these people that the video game sucks"

First of all, my love, that is two schools, not three.

I would substitute:

1. The man (Kojima), grand artistic storytelling pretensions aside, is either capable of creating a worthwhile video game or:

2. He is not.

JSP
1. It's three. Count the semicolons.

2. The latter would mean something if there were an objective definition of a worthwhile video game. Some people are into MMOs; I am not. Some people are not into N64 wrestling games; I am. MGS 4 was more than worth my . It would not be worth yours. My point is that I fail to grasp the point of the foaming evangelism from either side.

FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown
Semicolon Victory
100'000
Sup'Jeff?

Xenocide
I think they're pretty fun because you get the idea that the whole thing is an elaborate, Kaufmanesque pratical joke on Kojima's part. There's so many winking gags, intentionally absurd moments, and little secrets in these games.

I get the feeling the story is just there so he can see how much shit he can get away with. I mean, guys being brainwashed by their arms? A boss who knows what's on your memory card? A whiny teenage couple named after the leads in Titanic? The whole last hour of 2 (where you're running around naked and the Colonel is screaming non-sequiters)? This is the stuff of epic post-modernist self-parody.

FABIO2
The original MGS for playstation (not the gay Gamecube remake) was a fantastic game for its time with just the right amount of fourth wall breaking to be fun.

Every game since then has gotten progressively worse gameplay wise (they add a ton of stuff, but it is all a broken mess) and unbearable story wise. Kojima is like a kid who told a joke at a party, got adults to laugh, so if he makes the same joke 100 more times and louder every time it'll be even funnier. At this point it's so bad that I wouldn't be surprised if the series was just a test to see just how gullible fans are.

If Kojima were David Lynch (he's not), then the first MGS would be the first season of Twin Peaks. Everything else would be Inland Empire.

JSP
the only thing differentiating his criticism of the game from your average gameFAQs post is the absence of a stream of racial slurs and the presence of a completely unforgivable hat. i was with him on gta4 but this is uninspired flamebait on par with posting STAR TREK IS FOR FAGGOTS on the official star trek message board.
gotterdamm
Yes, someone doesn't like the same ridiculous video game you do so he MUST me trolling.

Xenocide
In the second game it's possible to have a guard pee on your head.

JSP
Yes, indeed, he doesn't like a game I do so he must be trolling. That is, in fact, what I said. The literacy on display here is staggering.

JSP
Because I am kind and do not want you to die of a heart attack, I am going to clarify; no thanks will be necessary.

This guy makes videos where he talks about games. He makes one where he says Smash Brothers sucks, which drives traffic to his site through the roof and provokes an outburst of reaction, which proceeds to drive traffic even further through the roof.

Then a game comes out which can charitably be called polarizing and he proceeds to...lay into it with precisely the same shit we've heard a thousand times before. Either he had his imagination removed, or he's cruising for a reaction from a notoriously easy-to-provoke group.

Ah, but no; he hates a game I don't, so he's trolling. Much like the commentors here on this video, who do not like a game I do, and whom I have of course been accusing of trolling, as is plain to see.

Camonk
So if someone likes a video game you don't like, hey no problem. So I'm presuming that if someone doesn't like a game you like, that's also okay. But apparently they'd better not tell you about it on the internet, or it's trolling. Man that is a 100% consistent worldview you've built for yourself.

Mostly Pi
no no no, he's saying if Yahtzee or anyone else dislikes one thing for the same reasons he disliked something else that had similar aspects, THEN he is a troll looking for hits. What Yahtzee should have said was "I normally dislike excessive dialogue in games, which is why I complain about it a lot, but it's ok in this game. I have no idea why I feel that way."

On a side note, does anyone base their game purchases off of what Zero Punctuation says? I tune in for the same reason I was a rabid OMM fan; because it's hilarious.

JSP
I am saying that if a guy who has been a troll looking for hits on more than one occasion goes for the low-hanging fruit which has historically sent a histrionic fanbase into conniptions, that it's easier for me to believe that he's going for a reaction again than it is for me to believe that he can't think of a novel criticism of a tremendously uneven video game when doing so has presented him no trouble in the past.

Wait, no, you fucking trainables are right, I just don't think he's allowed to dislike the game (this makes perfect sense because everyone else in this thread who doesn't like the game has heard the same from me!) and also your inability to understand a pretty simple concept means that my worldview is inconsistent, somehow.

Xenocide
People like you having reactions like this are what Yahtzee feeds on. Eventually he will demand that The Escapist stop giving him money and begin paying him in fanboy tirades.

Aubrey McFate
Hey, JSP. 665 was cool. You're kind of being a faggot here.

JSP
Hey Aubrey, that time you weren't saying anything was cool.

Fine, dipshits, I wanted to drag this out longer because I was bored but - Here's how I know he's trolling:

I haven't actually watched the video.

Now go back and read what I said about it.

The defense rests.

Hooker
Five for insulting JSP's favourite game.

Aubrey McFate
I wanted you to think I had watched the video! It was my plan all along!

Mostly Pi
JSP gets this five because I love reading the rants of internet tough guys who lose their shit over stuff like this.







JSP
I WILL FIGHT WITH PUNCHES

U! S! A!

FABIO2
Haters are vocal only because fans cannot shut up about how Kojima is an unparalleled genius of storytelling. Just read any perfect 10 online review. It's embarrassing.


MGS fans remind me of the fans from any episode of Metalocalypse . They're always getting beat up, butchered, maimed, and shat on by a group of idiots, and they always want more.

Repomancer
Five stars because it was funny, and to piss off JSP.
SUP BLOOD?
coprolalia
PoeTV=Methadone?

Syd Midnight
2 oz gin, a splash of fanboy tears, 1 large olive. Shaken, not stirred.

Aelric
MGS4 is a guilty pleasure. Being fully aware of the ridiculousness of the story, and how it gets crazier and crazier every game, I feel a certain shame that I've honestly considered buying a PS3 for this game.

It's like lost, but worse. The plot makes no sense, the characters got old after the first season and gods golden chariot comes down to turn things on their head so often you think he's celebrating thursday.

but MGS as a series had a great start, and it's that continued momentum that keeps me coming back. the second game nearly made me buy a gun and the third was passable (but note, kojima: Giant flame faces are not necessary where a simple explosion will suffice).

I'm still gonna play it one day. I'll probably be disappointed and confused. que sera sera.
Xenocide
23 minutes from starting the game to actually playing the game.

That's an entire Venture Brothers episode.
Camonk
This one can't even be called Zero Punctuation. It should be called moderate punctuation, or perhaps nearly adequate punctuation. He really slows down and talks at a completely normal pace at the end is what I'm saying. It's also boring.
StanleyPain
WE'VE MANAGED TO AVOID DROWNING.
Gill_Sans
Good work Raiden.

oswaldtheluckyrabbit
The Metal Gear Solid games aren't necessarily games. They're...something.
RockBolt
Mr and Mrs Oh Christ Not You Cunts Again


MGS is still my favorite game of all time, everything since has been completely forgettable
revdrew
Nice choice of music on this one.
KnowFuture
THAT POLITICIAN DID SAY SOMETHING YAHTZEE HE SAID RUBBER DUCKY LITTLE GOBLIN GUY CHEESEBURGER PAY ATTENTION



KnowFuture
As for the game itself...I don't have any of the highfalutin' consoles for which games are not currently being phased out in stores now but I played 1-3 over the years and...well, ya either have the patience for 90,000,000 years' worth of dialogue or you don't.

I was raised on the old Scott Adams and Infocom text games so I imagine I have a little more patience for old fashioned storytelling than some folks,, but in the case of the Metal Gear games I see it as a thing that is in the way of all the sweet action stuff you get to do. It's like the dialogue/acting scenes in a porno movie or some really douchebaggy act that's opening for your favorite band.

JSP
I love the damn games and even I got to the point where I actually yelled at the TV that I would really like to be able to play the game now please.

Squeamish
Ah, Yahtzee.
j lzrd / swift idiot
TATICAL ESPWNAGE ACTION: MATEL GAER: SOLD
BOOSH
+10 for "Mr and Mrs Oh Christ Not You Cunts Again"

-5 for not understanding the mad genius that is Hideo Kojima
Monchiles Monchiles
These are much better when he seems to legitimately dislike the game.
fluffy
+10 million for the retardedly vitriolic discussion going on here
longwinded
Your ideas are interesting and I'm pretty sure I'm already signed up for your newsletter
FABIO2
God bless Suda 51 for making Kojima completely unnecessary.
DMKA
lol, I will never see what's so appealing about this faggot.
Chinballs
I love this game, crazy ass story aside, and fell that it surpasses all its predecessors by an order of a magnitude...in crazy at least.

The graphics are nice too, no need to tighten them up!
poopy
For JSP
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