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Desc:Cypher and Biblegirl meets Mr. Theophilus
Category:Religious, Video Games
Tags:God, white people, bibleman, wacky protester, full armor of god
Submitted:Hodge
Date:06/27/08
Views:3543
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Comment count is 27
ashtar.
That is the most insane mission description I have ever heard.

...And yet, oddly similar to how George W got the republican nomination in 2000.
Aelric
...Ames has a pace maker, so aim your directional mic at everyones heart listening for an irregular beat.
Yellow Lantern
Biblegirl is really Alyson Hannigan-ing it up there.
kingarthur
I would shag Biblegirl until she climaxed a Satanist.

Oh yes.

UnderANeonHalo
King Arthur you get 5 stars for peering into my mind.

That said, this game looks almost crazy enough to play.

Calamity Jon
I, too, share that look of utter disbelief which they share when the mission is being described.

Also, honestly, is the black guy really called "Cypher?" Sum of zero, nonentity, etc?
Pie Boy
In the Supreme Mathematics of the Five Percent Nation of Gods and Earths (an offshoot of the Nation of Islam), Cipher stands for a Nirvana-like perfection of mind and spirit.

This leads me to believe that Cypher must be a Muslim sleeper agent. The plot thickens.

Aernaroth2
It must have been really hard for that organization to find 2 physicists, 5 engineers, and 2 psychologists who were willing to say they didn't believe in evolution
Maggot Brain
One of the engineers is just an grad-student.

Xenocide
Thanks, Liberty University!

Nyms Lives!
I notice when he was listing the professions of the board members "acting coach" was not among them.

Also five stars donated to all the children Caminante and Aubrey mentioned, in memory of that Christmas when my entire present list was Stryper albums.

snothouse
Is the helmet a camera? Are those two awkwardly-placed books the camera? WHAT IS HE TALKING TO?
Caminante Nocturno
Yeah, thanks, Mom. This is so much nicer than Bioshock. Oh, look, he cut a ribbon and threw confetti. I never would've seen that in Bioshock. Thanks a bunch, Mom.
Aubrey McFate
This is what I think of when I see shitty kids stuff like this. Some kid's birthday or Christmas was just fucked over.

zatojones
He looks sort of like Ad-Rock from the Sabotage video
fluffy
If this were intended as parody it might be brilliant.
FABIO2
I'm still not convinced it isn't.

kennydra
5 stars for Mr. Theophilus turning down a call from The White House.

And for this being generally ridiculous.
Udderdude
Fuck.
Xenocide
Even Biblegirl can't keep a straight face during this briefing. The armor of God won't protect you from recognizing horrible writing, I guess.
cognitivedissonance
Because protesters are just being wacky.
Cleaner82
If there's one thing Christianity doesn't abide, it's wacky protestors.

Keefu
I refuse to believe this game was released only 3 years ago.
RockBolt
Wow, that next level sounds epic
William Batty
So wait... okay, the team needs to take their training up a notch, so they are holding a press conference, where Joshua Carpenter, who is destined to become Bibleman but does not know, will be present. There are also Bible verses hidden around this party, some or all of which refer to "The True Armor of God". You must find these Bible verses, then offer them to people in the crowd; all the while avoiding the attacks of a villain called The Wacky Protester and his henchmen. How you can tell which one of these people is the aforementioned Mr. Carpenter is that he will magically transform into Bibleman upon receipt of the Bible passages; with the strong implication that these passages will transubstantiate into actual piece of armor that form the Bibleman costume.

I've got to get a look at this Wacky Protester.
HarveyTibbar
Black man and woman is passed up for a promotion yet again?
duckofdeath
dude has a rat tail!!!!
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