I was wondering if that was slowed down or just... well, five stars in that case.

I love the tense music that plays as the horrible walrus-creature enters the room, but what really clinches it is Simon's expression.

That entire sequence was like something out of a Guy Richie film.

Seacrest did try to stop her. He currently resides in the magical city hidden between this woman's fat rolls.

Hell?

She sings way out of key and apparently can't tell. She also couldn't make it through the whole song before running out of steam. Maybe with professional instruction and a lot of practice she could overcome those things, but a natural talent for singing in tune is as important in this arena as good vision and depth perception are for an olympic archer. Plus, she doesn't come off as someone with the self-discipline or ambition to refine and maintain her performance art as a professional. I mean, she ran out of breath during a major audition and whined "I can't do anymore!" Being the best takes natural talent AND hard work and she doesn't appear to have reserves of either to draw upon.

Anyway, this clip was beautifully edited. Well done whatever show this is.

So, what, you think he should have passed her because she could theoretically learn to sing at some later time? So everyone passes then?

Yeah, Spoon, whatever show THIS is. Anyway, I can't claim to know whether or not she's a good singer normally, but I can say that it's very likely that her main problem here is that this is an extremely high-stress situation (thanks largely to Simon), and she does not have any self esteem or confidence as a buffer against that pressure. Thus, even if she is really a decent singer for whatever events she supposedly won trophies at, all of that falls away when she enters the room with Simon and the other judges to audition for a show where she could have the chance to win far more than just a trophy.

But yeah, she's fat and her mother is a hambeast, and that's hilarious.

Celebrity. Huh. Interesting term for him.

It's ignorance on the doctor's part. They can't live off of those tiny sausages...they need the great big ones to feed their whole family. Sausages also make people sing better.

Ignorant people just don't know these things.

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=26669

You probably have to give them permission to air whatever they want in order to compete, if that's legal. I have no idea how those things work, so I may be (and probably am) totally wrong, but that's my assumption and I'm sticking to it.

Yeah, there's now way they'd let em' get away without airing this.

They agreed to come to a show that will be watched by millions of strangers, they kinda should`ve thought of that beforehand. I assume only the most earnest and naive are undeterred.

The way it works is apparently "If we let you audition, you agree to let us show every fucking thing you do from the moment you get in line to the moment you leave the parking lot."

Basically, the kind of stupid that says "I can totally win American Idol/X Factor/Talent Show Du Jour despite an utter lack of talent whatsoever" is the same kind of stupid that says "I can flip out and act like a total fucking goon in front of a dozen TV cameras and THERE'S NO WAY THEY'LL EVER AIR IT."

It's called a talent release.

Everyone signs them, never thinking for a moment what that actually means.