I can't believe somebody was paid to do this, as a job.
"This game is not a 7-Up marketing ploy"
"Cool Spot does require strategy. Drink as much 7-Up as possible"
|Caminante Nocturno |
How much does it pay to give a terrible game high marks?
as much 7-Up as you can possibly drink
I rented this back in the day. Good graphics, average gameplay. I give it the 3 star gamepro ranking guy face.
|Goethe and ernie |
I never played this. I had the isometric one, on the Megadrive (or "genesis" for you lot). With that level where you had to fight an Alien, and a Terminator-Spot. It was rad.
This is one of the few games I really love.
Yes this was a blatant marketing ploy but it was damn fun. Except for level 4, I hate that level.
This guy can't stay on a coherent path for more than a few seconds at a time.
"THE GRAPHICS ARE AMAZING AND FULLY DETAILED DON'T FORGET TO PICK UP POWER UPS THEY HELP ALOT THE MUSIC IS GOOD AND SPOT IS A LOVABLE CHARACTER THE BACKGROUNDS ARE REALISTIC."
To his credit, he only had a minute and a half to two minutes to review these games. The only obvious solution was to cram as much information in as possible.
... Except for the ones where he has 4-7 minutes. Never mind.
|Iron Xides |
You'd think that reviews called "Gaming in the Clinton Years" would occasionally venture past his first term.
This was one of those games that seemed fun at the time, not so much when going back to it.
God, this one's even more disjointed than the other.
"Each level is fun. There are spots in the levels. Be sure to shoot all the enemies."
Christ, and you know, video game reviews have STILL not progressed much from this. This guy could still get a job.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU BEAT THE GAME!
BUT YOU DIDN'T BEAT IT ON HARD, SO FUCK YOU.
LOOK AT THAT, SPOT IS CRYING. YOU SUCK.
"Get rid of enemies in the air by shooting directly up at them!"
|Jeff Fries |
An extra star for the ranking system adopted especially for this game
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