DID BARACK OBAMA KILL HIS GRANDMOTHER FOR RATINGS
THEN CRY CROCODILE TEARS?!?!
VOTE MCCAIN PALIN 08
FORWARD THIS THREAD TO 10 PPL OR U WILL NEVE RFIND TRUE LOVE ! ! !
How fucking sad.
CAN I JUST SAY THAT I WAS ALMOST KILLED TONIGHT BY A REPUBLICAN
FOR MY BELIEFS
Everyone grab a pillow, it's STORYTIME!
If I could invite Baleen to the floor... No, No, don't shake your head, C'mon Everybody!... Baleen!...
Tell us the story baleen, tell us!
I feel like puking. But ok.
Since I moved to Brooklyn about four years ago I've frequented this old irish bar where a lot of union guys of mostly irish and italian heritage hang out. Most of them like me and we get along well enough, and I've gotten to know their families and it's cool, but there are some extremely unstable guys amongst them, some pretty criminal types who get into a lot of fights for no real reason. One of them is a steroid-enhanced Republican douchebag who does a lot of things like fondle women he doesn't know under the table and treats "outsiders" (people that haven't lived in that minuscule area of Brooklyn for more than 15 years) like punching bags.
He spends a lot of time hating me too, though I've never wronged him to my knowledge. Fortunately I know this big Italian guy who is pretty much like a serious dude and he told this douchebag guy that I was his friend and to leave me alone, but when douchebag gets really drunk and mixes that with other kinds of chemical cocktails then there's not much stopping him.
So I tried to have civil conversation about politics with him, to which my electrician friend "Bob" told me was a bad idea, because douchebag beats the shit out of people that disagree with him. Long story short douchebag turned red and almost knocked my teeth out partly because a Polish girl was talking about pro-choice issues and
the rest of that story was magically cut off... how strange.
I don't feel like retyping it. But I'm ok. and I'm gonna go vote now.
Tell him to go home and get his shine box, that usually works.
No baleen fuck your voting and your hangover I need closure on that anecdote. Was the Polish girl attractive? Was the douchebag going to punch the girl?
Goddammit. I blame Cena for this. The ending I made up in my head is probably better anyhow.
The polish girl was pretty attractive. I think I was sort of saved by the bartender, who is a really nice guy. We all sort of came together as a country and left the bar so that he could get laid.
After douchebag was done with his usual eye thing that he does (he once crossed the bar and sat next to me and shoved his face next to mine and just stared right at my face for about five minutes, because he's an asshole), I asked him to shake my hand. I was really drunk and not being very smart, which is kind of normal for me. Anyway.
Coming to together and agreeing that your bartender should have sex with the Polish girl so everyone should leave the bar. That's what America is all about.
I know what the lunatic fringe are going to focus on: "[S]he lived through two world wars." fuck, whenever I hear anything about grandmas it really makes me miss my grandma.
"God is on our side. Seriously... No, really."
For fuck's sake, you idiot.
You mean that "racist, typical, white woman?" Sorry Barry your words not mine.
one day til cena_mark dies on the way back to his home planet!
I am looking forward to seeing your head explode in less than 24 hours, Cena_mark.
I love the audience who obviously couldn't give less of a fuck.
That woman in the background waving to the camera...how utterly inappropriate.
I'm not trying to shit on his speech, but which two World Wars occurred after 1922?
|Jeff Fries |
Barak "Johnny Fairplay" Obama
4 stars for the bitch behind him on her cell phone.
"Yeah! I'm on TV! His gramma dead? Ha HA! Turn on the TV! "
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