Asking questions nobody cares about, telling jokes that aren't funny, sexist remarks, all this with Andy Rooney on 60 minutes.

onion, belt... eyebrows

White house huh? Lot of closets. Women take up so much space... even if they aren't president. And who wants to be president?... people staring at my house...

That Presidential Beds tangent was...sublime.

I feel like Andy Rooney is asking all the questions I asked when I was 5.

Everybody else on 60 Minutes can't wait for Andy Rooney to die. I have to believe this is true.

"And what about all those condoms Bill Clinton left in the dresser? Will Barack find them too small, or too big? Does he like them ribbed, or smooth? And what about the reservoir end? What exactly does he plan to put in there? With all this so-called global warming, we're going to need more reservoirs. Is he planning to rent it out?"

Dude, I would burn anything that Bush slept in.