If only it were Frost/Johnson.

The best slacks in the United States, although they cut my nuts like I'm riding a wire fence

the faggiest goddamn thing you could ever imagine! i mean it's simply terrible.

i'm runnin' for a funeral.

LBJ was well known around the white house for his proclivity for crank calls

That's a 5-star belch.

It was pretty cool having an actual Texan president, and not a fake New England one.

just mail em to me.
where shall I mail them sir?
white house.

never before have i considered LBJ's lacerated scrotum