Lead is a beautiful, natural substance that allows gasoline engines to run much, much more efficiently. When we burn it, it sometimes accidentally finds its way through the air into the soil, and water. Your children aren't dying of lead poisoning though ladies and gentlemen, they're dying of sadness. Sadness because evil, soulless, hateful politicians who hate corporations and profits want to ban leaded gasoline! Join us in supporting the future of America and opposing the ban on leaded gasoline.

They call it pollution...we call it life.

I want the makers of this ad to sit in an enclosed room full of the "life" that comes out of burning their fuels.

I'm speechless.

Plants breathe it in! (twinkly noises)

But how would those politicians stop the ocean and everyone else from polluting the Earth with CO2? Are we going to have to fit special breathing apparatuses on every human being and fish?

Those bastard politicians! THIS MAKES ME ANGRY! DON'T TREAD ON ME LIBERALS

THE LIBS WILL UNLEASH THE FUCKING FURY!!!

And it also produces surface temperatures hot enough on Venus where it rains sand.

At one point rising levels of oxygen destroyed nearly all complex life on this planet. Excess production of the gas caused by cyanobacteria stripped our planet of methane and removed our ability to store heat from the sun. If not for life forms that produce CO2, a greenhouse gas, evolving and spreading, our planet would still be a nearly uninhabited ice ball.

Now pick a moral from that story:
A) Changes in greenhouse gas emissions can trigger chains of catastrophic consequences
B) CO2 is good, let's make as much as possible.

I could swear this has been on here before, but it's so just unimaginably evil and draconian that it basically defines those words forever.

Water. Without it life would be impossible. But now liberal America-hating monsters are trying to make it illegal for pirates to send people on vactaions to Davey Jones' locker. What would life be like then? *menacing music*

CO2 is basically just food for all the plants, and plants are GOOD! It's a win-win situation, people!

There's something you can't see that's all around us and essential to life.

Guns. Concealed carry guns are the same guns that defeated our enemies in Vietnam and freed the people of Iraq. Some politicians think guns are dangerous and want to regulate their use. Just think if they succeeded.