"In Connecticut it might be normal behavior [to sleep with chimpanzees] -- NOT IN MY HOUSE!"

he's right about one thing, everyone I've known from Connecticut was way into sex with chimps.

Chimps are for liberals. Conservatives are more discerning and always choose the shaved orangutan.

I love how a freaking ethnobotanist goes around calling people hippies.

This rant needs to be sampled and remixed.

Holy shit, Michael Weiner, you're a dickbag.

He's like the DaVinci of Jewish self-loathing.

Blind hateful politics from a man whose real name is Weiner.

"If she'd had a gun in the house, she could've shot the monkey." But if she hadn't had a monkey in the first place... no, no, fuck it, she should've kept the chimp, and got a gun too. Silly liberals!

It's official. Republicans are smarter. Also they are just better at resisting the strong urge to fuck a chimp that we all face at one time or another.

This is coming from a man whose dream was to suck Alan Ginberg's cock!