That's why he's having such a hard time wrapping his head around the situation.

See, here's the thing: In his long and storied life, he's grown accustomed to people accidentally doing cocaine. I mean, wash your hands enough time in a public restroom, and we all know you're going to accidentally get some cocaine up your nose. But doing it intentionally!? MADNESS!

Also: Everything Is Terrible tag is required. Do it now.

Jesus gives unto His cocaine freely, for the Lord turneth much mill flour into many lines, and He said unto Mary Magdalene "Now Mary lay many lines upon your bosom, that I might breathe uppeth each upon each through the night," and Mary cutteth the lines on their sides, and she layeth the lines upon her bosom, and Jesus Christ did inhale upon them, and lo he stood up and said Duh, and woeth He slept many days before He set His wrath upon the Temple.

Amen.

5 for our sermon of the day.

I agree. And that is NOT a light honor to hold.

it's really hard to tell if the producers of this were being more critical of cocaine users or nerds

Or Jesus. I mean, do you really have to spend time wondering if Jesus would snort coke?