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Desc:I'm not a big fan of Kevin Smith's movies, but I'd pay top dollar to hear his rants.
Category:General Station, Humor
Tags:comics, Kevin Smith, Twilight, dirty old man, Moist
Submitted:Pillager
Date:07/27/09
Views:2415
Rating:
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Comment count is 66
Hooker
I would not pay top dollar to hear Kevin Smith's rants!
rawelkij
Hooker are you butthurt because Kevin Smith made fun of your favorite movie/book? I'm sowwy.

futurebot
1 star for "butthurt"

Rum Revenge
He's probably butt hurt because, like me, he expected something good from Mr. Smith.

"Lay off the [obnoxious] 12-year-olds, 'cuz someday they will be [even more obnoxious, and this time without the excuse of naivete] 18-year-olds!"

I did like the deadpan shirt-taking-off mime, though.

"Let me help you." 8|

futurebot
I just don't understand why 4chan thinks that the entire internet is waiting with bated breath for their painfully unfunny memes and catch-phrases, especially around here where POE says "fuck off" over and over again.

CornOnTheCabre
i still have no idea how the internet seems to think 4chan invented "butthurt"

splatterbabble
I've been hearing/saying butthurt since the 80s.

Udderdude
Butthurt.

rawelkij
what's all this fuss then?

Hooker
I'm just saying, if you put what he said in text form and posted it on the Poe News, I doubt many people would bulb it. What he said is not noteworthy.

rawelkij
That doesn't mean that Kevin Smith isn't a creepy dude who talks about aroused tweens.

Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
futurebot what does 4chan have to do with butthurt?


futurebot
4chan and the broader genre of awful internet nerds have popularized that term in recent years, and are under the impression that it is somehow intrinsically funny

As udderdude demonstrates, people who use the term are as a rule the internet's background noise of banality.

William Burns
Butthurt is a term in common usage that far predates the internet. I had a teacher in junior high that used this term.

futurebot
do you understand the distinction between "popularized" and "coined"

Hooker
This is probably one of the dumbest fagdances on poeTV so far.

futurebot
YOU STARTED IT, BUT I WILL END IT.

Louis Armstrong
What a banal thread.

Hooker
Well, I didn't actually start this "butthurt" stupidity.

futurebot
BUTT I WILL END IT

FABIO
The official internet ruling is that "butthurt" and "delicious tears" are almost at the point of "pirates vs ninjas" and "Chuck Norris".

Hooker
I am making another post in this thread.

Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
fuck your rules soft boy

rawelkij
You fags are probably just butthurt.

tamago
Rant was okay, but these stars are for the faggiest fagdance in all of fagdancery.

oogaBooga
5 stars for butthurt

chaos owl
FUCK YOU. I listened to the whole thing waiting to see how he was going to tie this into Mohism and it never happened.
William Burns
Minus all stars for the mental image of Kevin Smith still sexually active in six years, creeping on teenagers.
ZugZug
That's an issue inherent in yourself, not in the video. Don't trash ratings for stupid shit.

splatterbabble
Five stars to you for making me think of Silent Bob being okay with it.

William Burns
Kevin Smith is talking about the moisture of some thirteen-year-olds' genitals, and how he's planning on copulating with them when he is older (and maybe dressed as a vampire.)

You five-starred this.

ZugZug
You took a marginal section from the beginning of his gag, put it together with a marginal (albeit not pleasant) description at the end of his gag, and then come to the conclusion that he is speaking specifically about their genitals and sleeping with them when they are eighteen.

Regardless if I five starred this, you missed the point entirely.

Lindner
I think Mr. Burns may have a point and, I agree. This IS five star worthy!

Pillager
Buncha candyasses.

Imagine Kevin Smith's bloated, odoriferous, planetoid form slowing gravitating toward an 18 year old Twilight fan.

What possible pick up lines would help him seduce her?


Quad9Damage
Haven't watched this yet, but Burns' comment reminded me of something. On the Donnie Darko Director's Cut soundtrack, Kevin Smith makes a joke about his daughter having a clit ring.

I thought that was creepy enough.

Quad9Damage
*COMMENTARY TRACK, goddamnit.

Candlejackv616
I love the double standards some of you have here for the people you want to hate. you can watch a video about a pit bull raping a 2 yr old, yet this offends you or creeps you out? I love how some of you pulled some christian fundie shit and took from kevins rant something completely different that what was intended. Nowhere in Mr. smiths rant does he talk about himself picking up jailbait/barely legal twilight fans.

Since I have a brain and am not a hypocrite I took it for what it was, him joking around and telling the younger guys in the crowd to relax wait till there legal and into more geeky vamp shit and use your geeky knowledge of vampire nonsense and woo them aka get some ass as it were. Go look at the vid again, where the fuck does he say what some of you inferred from a rather straightforward rant? also

"Kevin Smith makes a joke about his daughter having a clit ring.

I thought that was creepy enough."

how the fuck is that creepy? unless he was ten kinds of serious with that statement, its pretty obvious it was nothing more than a fucked up joke, if you honestly believe he would either

A. get his daughter a clit ring

or

B. or is a pedo of some sort

then you are a fucking imbecile. considering yet again the real deal pedos that inhabit the web and the vids we've seen of them here, you think some of you could tell the difference...seriously how hypocritical.

p.s.

If your familiar with Mr. smiths humor then none of what he says should shock, offend, or surprise you in the least.

CornOnTheCabre
fuck fuck fuck fuckin fuck
Xiphias
he wants to fuck kids
Pillager
And you don't see the EVIL in that?


IrishWhiskey
I'm just offended that its a bad plan. Twilight teaches young girls not to put out until they find a sufficiently emo Hot Topic douche to abuse them. Which is no help at all.

Riskbreaker
I don't need Kevin Smith to tell me that Twilight sucks.
Rum Revenge
He didn't even say it sucked.

Riskbreaker
Then he sucks for not stating the obvious.

Cena_mark
Kevin Smith is dreadfully overrated. His only good movie was Clerks, and Chasing Amy really really sucked.

Now that's a Cena_mark rant.
mamiebangs
Mallrats was funny. Ben Affleck is great at playing a skeezy douche.

socialist_hentai
I enjoy anything with jay and silent bob in it.

CornOnTheCabre
yeah, Mallrats was pretty much campy 90s comedy at the top of its game, and I almost prefer it to Clerks. besides that, yeah, nothing's aged particularly well.

Nikon
Heh heh.
Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
Meh.
StanleyPain
This coming from a guy who desperately tried to re-establish his cred and fanbase by taking his only truly original, independent movie and make a cheap, sell-out, Hollywood-style sequel.
chairsforcheap
i think you need access to the hadron particle collider to get to a level of anti-matter that is kevin smith multiplied by twilight
BHWW
I'm not a big fan of Kevin Smith's incredibly shitty movies, but I'd pay top dollar to hear him scream as he's pelted with paintballs.
spikestoyiu
King of the Beardos shoots fish in a barrell.
zerobackup
I didn't see Harry Knowles in that clip...

pastorofmuppets
HOLY SHIT THEY'RE THE SAME GUY

Camonk
"My dialogue was better, I assure you."

You know, Kevin, I've seen a few of your movies, so I feel that I have sufficient evidence to doubt that statement utterly.
FABIO
Actually, you DO pay top dollar to hear his rants.

He charges well into five figures to speak at schools. Five figures out of the student activity budget.
Meatsack Jones
I dectect much Cheeto-Beard rage in these votes.
Hooker
LEAVE KEVIN SMITH ALOOOOOONEEEE!

Grace Mugabe
How can someone be so consistently funny in real life and yet make such terrible movies?
Louis Armstrong
uh....ACTING!!! or Dante hicks being your lead.

Idunno...

The Faghorn
IT IS A FAT

RUN BEFORE THE EAT ATTACK STARTS
Mormon
the chick gets on a bike and shit they jump on bikes and race off and shit she wrecks on a rock and shit saw rob pattinson and shit wolfboy runs over and shit bounce a quarter off his pecs and shit
APE_GOD
These late comer comments are the best thing in this entry.

Sorry I had to break the streak :\
ashtar.
I HAVE NO STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT KEVIN SMITH!!!
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