my decision: you're a retard
So why's a Rabbi reading the New Testament again?
Welp, I'm convinced.
Honey, get in the bomb shelter.
The birth certificate is in HELL!
Lightning "Hussein" From the Heights is not my president!
hold on a second, I saw this exact video like twelve years ago, except "Antichrist" translated to "Wil-Hulm Clin-Too"
If Jesus wanted to warn us about the name of the anti-Christ so badly, why didn't he just SAY WHAT IT WAS? Why bother with all this Da Vinci Code bullshit?
Because, obviously, he foresaw the birth of Youtube, and knew that his last prophet would ascend to glory on its back.
On a chariot made of chocolate and feathers.
At work today I read a magazine published by the classics students of the local university. It had an interesting article detailing a great list of the striking similarities between Christianity and the cult of the deified Julius Caesar.
1) The rivalry between Caesar and Pompeius seems to have inspired the story of John the Baptist.
2) Both Jesus and Caesar were reportedly miracle-makers. Caesar miraculously survived a storm and brought back the "honors of Marius" from Hades.
3) Both made a triumphant entry into a major city; Caesar on horseback, Jesus on a donkey.
5) Before their deaths, both enjoyed an intimate supper among their friends and colleagues. Both foretold their imminent murders. The betrayers (Judas and Brutus) were among the guests.
5) Death dates are similar (15th of Nisan and 15th of March)
6) Both were resurrected (Divus Julius). Octavian later adopted the title of divi filius (son of god).
And the list goes on. I know that the theory linking Jesus and Caesar has received a considerable amount of criticism from scholars, but still, the parallels seem obvious, especially since it is known for certain that the early imperial cult gained its most ardent followers from the Levant (especially Syria and Anatolia).
A number of Mediterranean-based religions have similar stories - its not particularly uncommon (Dionysian/Bacchus mysteries, Osirus cult, Orpheus, Sol Invictius, Tammuz, etc), especially after Alexander the Great's Hellenization the region and imposition of a similar language.
When the Jews and other peoples of the region began developing syncretic faiths, "interesting" things started to happen
|THA SUGAH RAIN |
FOURTH DIMENSIONAL REPTILIAN HAARP MONSTER = BARAK OBAMAW
If our president's the antichrist based on his name, what does that make his dad?
I'd hate for this guy to find out that a former Israeli PM was named Ehud Barak, which could,very badly, be translated as "Uniter of Lightning" or "Glory of Lightning" which is a WAY better Anti-Christ name.
Plus, the whole "Jewish thing" would open up so many more doors of crazy
Jesus didn't write those words in Aramaic. LUKE did. Hence the name, "Luke". See, the scriptures were written by these dudes called "The Apostles" and they each wrote something called a "Gospel". For example, the "Gospel" according to "Luke". Which meant that "Luke" had written that particular "Gospel", called "Luke" BECAUSE IT WAS WRITTEN BY "LUKE" YOU DUMB FUCK.
|Man Who Fights Like Woman |
HE'S GOT A DICTIONARY, AND CAN CITE EXACT WORDS OUT OF IT
AND HE MAY HAVE GONE THOUGH AN INTRO HEBREW COURSE
WE'RE ALL FUCKED NOW
|Caminante Nocturno |
Barack Obama's first name (Barack) is only two letters away from Baraka, the evil mutant warrior with retractable arm-blades and one of the Mortal Kombat universe's most fearsome fighters.
Obama's last name, if replaced with the word FATALITY, is also suspicious.
So you're telling me out current president is merely two letters away from being our MOST AWESOME PRESIDENT EVER?
Man, I remember back when the bible was telling us all how the name of the antichrist was Bill Clinton.
Wouldn't that be "Lightning Heights"
I think Jesus was trying to warn us of a housing development, kinda like in Poltergeist.
Why am I not surprised by the accent.
Who put the baw in the u-baw-maw?
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lama-ding-dong?
Jesus said these words, "I beheld Satan as lightning falling from the heavens." Satan. SATAN. Not the antichrist. That would mean Barak Obama = Satan
That being said, that's fucking awesome. I am so enlisting in his army. I hope he reveals the mark of the beast soon so I can brand it into my forehead. Anyone have any advance notice on what it is?
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