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Desc:This was released on theaters, somebody went to see it, somebody is enjoying it right now
Category:General Station
Tags:puberty, ultraviolet, written by a 13 year old, milla jovovich
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Comment count is 29
That person enjoying this right now is me.
Seriously. This movie is nonstop hilarious fanfiction-esque bullshittery, and I loved every minute of it. Isn't that part and parcel of of poeTV? Methinks some people around here protest too much.

I was going to say that the last part was just conjecture, but you ruined it.

Five stars because circling your opponent with guns is apparently standard operating procedure in the future.

Also: can anyone track down the scene where she resurrects a little boy by crying over his dead body, because her tears SPREAD VAMPIRISM?
At 2:10 all I could think of was "John Freeman ramped off the building," in his bathtub.
I was hearing the FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES narrator also.

This movie killed all my sexual fantasies about Milla Jovovich. Now they're all just me asking her what she was thinking for twenty minutes and then she storms off and I get a pizza.
It's really sad to me that the only videos linked by the Milla Jovovich tag have to do with this movie.

Caminante Nocturno
Never has Confuse-O-Vision been used as well as it was in this movie. I was convinced that it was turning into a lost artform.
Rodents of Unusual Size
I just filed those you bitch.
Goethe and ernie
When she stabbed those dudes up and her hair changed colour, I was all ready to saddle up the WTF-horse, then the next three minutes happened, and I'm at a loss to describe how confused I am.
Her day has been so hectic it's DRIVING HER UP THE WALLS!

Big Muddy
That's a serious dig at I.M. Pei?
Still only the second most improbable motorcycle chase scene on film.

Rape Van Winkle
Man, fuck this shit.

Live action Aeon Flux ftw.
They made a live action aeon flux. it sucked too.

I had to cleanse my chase scene palate after this with the Charger vs. Mustang scene from Bullitt. Five for being horrible.
Time Travel Mishap
I...umm...wait....her bike had a star inside it? a tiny star? and that gave it gravity so it could stick to things?

I'm still confused about that, then again, this movie has guns and blades appearing out of nowhere, Milla's hair changing for some other sci-fi gimmicky bullshit, a kid inside a suitcase, and the list just goes on and on.

Time Travel Mishap
ok ill ignore the star and everything but couldn't they have at least dressed the bike up a bit? I'm not a bike expert but I'm pretty sure that, except for the switches and wierd twirly thing on the gas tank/star storage chamber, that was a pure factory modern BMW.

The script for this took so long to write because after every word the writer yelled "Fuck yeah!" and high fived his Wolverine poster.
I think SolRo's more of a Blade guy, actually.

At several points during this scene it actually looks like a videogame, not a good one. Heck, even Uncharted has better graphics than this.
Geoff Marr
... Based on a true story.
The motorcycle (if you can call them that) scene from Tron is more entertaining than this. Five stars for stupid crap.
Lies, lies, LIES!
This scene was ridiculous enough for my needs.
She drove through a helicopter on a motorcycle and then the helicopter exploded.
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